I Came In 1945

Got Visitors Yesterday

2010-06-14T14:25:00.000-07:00

I shifted to my daughter’s house two years and very seldom have visitors. I do not have many friends nowadays as most of them are out of my life. When I retired way back in 1998, I lost my social life too. When I was staying in the condominium, my only friends are my neighbors then. But since I shifted to my present residence, I hardly know my neighbors. And they do not know me. What a life!

My former neighbors (Vas & Cindy) visited me last evening and I am so touched. We had a nice chat over supper. It was past midnight when they left for home. When we were neighbors, we used to have late night tea time. These are the good people that one can seldom find.

I emailed to Vas the other day as we have not met for some time.

“Hi Vas

I practically finished writing my blog and there is nothing much left to be done. I have done a lot of reading on Buddhism and follow the political news of the country. I do not think there is any good in selling over the internet but I still advertise as the advertisements are free. I will sell at places where there are no charges for rental. There is one function on July 4 with rental free arranged by my daughter.

I have live for half a century and I know what's life is. Some people tell me it is the state of mind. But since the state of mind is trapped in the bodily form, it is not easy to explain. Any form in existence is subject to conditions. Life is not static but dynamic and as such there are changes down the road. These changes also cause sufferings. The reality is how to overcome and survive the sufferings which is inevitable. I am doing my best to survive.

In actuality it is just waiting for the day to leave behind everything and go over to the next life. My mind is no longer clouded with any burden in this life time.

I am not thinking of taking my life because it is forbidden in Buddhism. I am trying by means of meditation that one can take leave at will..

I appreciate yours and Cindy’s friendship and concern over my well being. But one can only help sometime and not all the time.

Every story has an end but in life every ending is a new beginning. So how long I have to wait to begin again!

From Buddhism: Re-creation Of Our World

2010-06-08T09:09:00.000-07:00

According to the Vedas, we are in the Kaliyuga period of the 28th Mahayuga in the 7th Manvantaras of the present kalpa.

According to scientific reports, human beings come into existence 2 million years ago (2,000,000). Based on the period of a Mahayuga is 2,173,000 human years, our present Kaliyuga will end in another 173,000 years from now.

During the 25th Mahayuga of the present Manvantaras, the first human Buddha Krakucchanda appeared in our world. In the 26th Mahayuga the second human Buddha Kaankamuni appeared and in the 27th Mahayuga the third human Buddha Kasyapa. Now in the present 28th Mahayuga there is our historical Sakyamuni Buddha. At the end of the present Mahayuga our world will be destroyed and re-created again for the coming of the future Metteyya Buddha. Our world had been re-created three times for the past human Buddhas. The other Buddhas mentioned in Buddhism are sentient beings from other world systems.

The Buddha say the future Metteyya Buddha will live for eight thousand years indicated that he will be born in the Tretayuga of the 29th Mahayuga. The life span of human beings during the Tretayuga period is 10,000 years. That will be 1,000,000 (1 million) years from now.

The Day I Died

2010-06-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

Four years ago Ann left us – Robin and I. Our marriage ended after being together for nineteen years. Robin was twelve and he did not understand what was happening to the family. He knew that she left us for another man. He lost his mother and I am without a wife. He had to adjust himself without her in his life.

Months later Robin asked me to marry Mandy. I was shocked. Perhaps he wanted a mother or maybe he thought I should have a wife. Robin had met Mandy on several occasions whenever I collected my purchases from her. She was my supplier and is the same age as my daughter Irene. She is a friendly single lady but nevertheless a stranger. I must confess at that moment it did crossed my mind. If I was twenty years younger and financially sound, I might have given it a shot. It may not be a matter of love but rather a necessity of companionship. People need dreams to stay alive but I dare not dream of having another wife at my age.

Occasionally Ann came to visit Robin. I knew she missed the son. One day I talked to her about selling the condominium and letting her have Robin. Robin was thirteen then. I had to give up Robin to Ann so that he can have a better life. Giving up my son was never easy and indeed a great sacrifice at my age to let go someone I care for. Today I still miss him. Nonetheless I was made the right decision to let go what I can no longer afford – a wife and a son. This is my life.

I died the day Robin left to be with his mother. That was three years ago. I had been dead for three years. My body lives without me and I am without myself. I have lost the desire to live. I am trapped in this body.

Buddhism forbids suicide. I read in Buddhism that one can go at will if one reaches a certain level through meditations. One will be reborn in a Buddha Land. I want to let go through meditation but when can I reach that level. Maybe one day I will be force to take the easy way out. Then it will be a rebirth in the ghost world or to a lower life than the present one.

The condominium was finally sold two years ago. I gave Ann half the money from the sales. Before that I enrolled Robin to a private school with some of the money I won from a lottery.

I tried to move on with my life with whatever I had. It had been two years now and times are bad. I am getting nowhere. Nothing comes my way and the high cost of staying alive is killing me. My time is running out as I started to sell off everything to move on. Soon I will have nothing to live on and then what will happen. Life is always a mystery and it takes a miracle to survive suffering.

From Buddhism: Ananda

2010-06-01T07:21:00.000-07:00

Ananda, the chief personal attendant of the Buddha, was a first cousin of the Buddha, and a son of the Sakyan Amitodana, one of the brothers of his father Suddhodana.

“Born in the Tusita heaven along with the bodhisatta, he passed away from there, and was reborn in the house of the Sakyan Amitodana. He was born on the day of the Buddha’s enlightenment in the city of Kapilavastu .”

The soothsayers had predicted that Ananda would be the chief attendant of the Buddha. Hence, in order to prevent him from meeting the Buddha, his father took him to Vaisali when the Buddha visited Kapilavastu and brought him back only after the Buddha’s departure from there. Nevertheless, the Buddha who knew his cousin’s future came back to his house and converted him. Later Amitodana gave him permission to renounce the world.

For twenty years after the enlightenment, the Buddha had no permanent attendant. At the age of fifty-five, he made known to his disciples his wish to have a permanent attendant. All the chief disciples, except Ananda, offered to serve him, but were rejected on one account or another. Ananda sat in silence and when requested by his colleages to come forward as the Buddha’s attendant he refused on the ground that the Buddha himself would select him if the Buddha thought him fit.

Ananda at first refused to offer his services, when requested by Sariputta and Maudgalyayana on the ground that it was difficult to serve a Buddha. Later, he accepted the post on three conditions viz…(1) he should not be asked to partake of the Buddha’s food or use his robes, (2) he should not be asked to accompany the Buddha, when he visited laymen’s houses, (3) he might at any time see and pay his respects to the Buddha. The Buddha accepted these conditions and from that day until his death at Kusinara he had the service of a faithful attendant, devoted alike to his Master and to his duty.

From the time the Buddha announced his fast approaching death, Ananda followed him, imploring him to live longer, trying to find out the Buddha’s view on many an issue or questioning him concerning the future of the Sangha. As the Buddha lay dying in the sala grove of the Mallas, it is really touching to read how this most devoted disciple, unable to bear up any more, burst into tears. To console him the Buddha had to remind him of his often repeated doctrine of the impermanency of all component things.

Ananda’s service to the Dhamma was as great as that to the Buddha. Although not an arahant during the lifetime of the Buddha he was already well known for his wisdom which even the Buddha acknowledged. His close association with the Buddha and the Buddha’s promise to repeat to him any discourse delivered in his absence made it possible for him to be an expert in the teachings of the Buddha. Often he discussed very important topics with the Buddha. Ananda had discussions on the Dhamma with other prominent disciples of the Buddha and at times they turned out to be very interesting and illuminating. His knowledge of the Dhamma was so highly respected that the Buddha is once reported to have said that one who wants to honor the Dhamma should honor Ananda.

Ananda lived up to the ripe age of a hundred and twenty years. His great age had even become proverbial.

All the achievements of Ananda, according to the Buddha, were not the work of one birth. It was the final outcome of the work of numerous past births.

It was 100,000 aeons ago, in the dispensation of Buddha Padumuttara that he made his first resolve to be the personal attendant of a Buddha. At the time, Ananda was a prince named Sumana, a step-brother of Buddha Padumuttara himself. One day he saw the Buddha’s chief attendant, the disciple most dear to the Buddha, and a desire arose in him to be one like him. With the greatest difficulty he obtained his father’s permission to entertain the Buddha for seven days. Then he went to the dwelling place and built a monastery in the park named Sobhana, bought from a householder of the same name. He also built a number of other monasteries along the road from the capital to his palace and offered all these to the Buddha. He observed the ten precepts during three rainy seasons and also offered alms to the Buddha and his disciples. At the end of all these acts he made known his resolution to be chief attendant of a Buddha. Buddha Padumuttara prophesied the fulfillment of his desire.

In the time of Buddha Kassapa he presented a bowl-rest to a monk going on his alm-round. In another birth as the king of Baranasi he made eight cells for eight paccekabuddhas in his royal park and attended upon them for ten thousand years. In these he helped the boddhisatta to fulfill his ten perfections, while he himself accumulated much good kamma. While roaming in the endless sea of births and deaths as an ordinary being still not immune from evil thoughts, he was guilty of evil deeds as well. One such instance is recorded when as a blacksmith he committed adultery and suffered for a long time in purgatory.

Arahantship is only a stage on the path to complete deliverance. It is only by becoming a supreme Buddha that one ends life in samara. Hence, Ananda, too, will have to go on till he attains supreme Buddhahood. Ananda himself requested the Buddha to predict his future destiny to supreme enlightenment. The Buddha is then said to have predicted that after having respected and honoured sixty-two kotis of supreme Buddhas, kept in memory their doctrines and received their messages, he will become a Tathagata by the name Sagara-vara-dhara-buddhi-vikridistabhijna. His Buddha-field will be prosperous and it will be of lapis lazuli. His world system will be named Anavanamita-vaijayanti and the aeon will be named Manojna-sabdabbigarjita. This Buddha will bring to enlightenment twenty times hundred thousand myriads of kotis of bodhisattvas, comparable to the sands of twenty rivers of the size of the Ganges . His life-span will be incalculable in aeons. After his parinirvana his dharma will last twice as long as his life-span and twice as long as his teaching will the counterfeit of his dharma stand.

From Buddhism: Animitta

2010-06-01T04:45:00.000-07:00

Animitta, meaning ‘formless’. All dhammas are formless, because they have no special nature. They are essentially void.

According to the Mahaprajnaparamita Sutra, dhammas become neither united nor separated and have neither color and form nor quality of obstruction. All dhammas have one nature, that is formlessness.

The Maharatnakuta Sutra mentions that the essential nature of all dhammas is voidness, the nature of all dhammas is to have no-nature. As all dhammas are void and have no peculiar nature, they have one common nature, viz., formlessness. As they are formless, they can be pure. As they are void and have no peculiar nature, they cannot be manifested in form.

Considered as phenomena, all dhammas are changing – being united with each other or being separated – and they have color and form and are obstructions for others. But from the essential point of view, all dhammas are void and are beyond differentiation. Thus, all dhammas are equal in voidness and are Nirvana itself.

The Mahaparinirvana Sutra mentions that the characteristic of Nirvana is ‘animitta’: “Nirvana is called animitta,……..because in Nirvana the ten forms are not found. What are the ten forms? They are the forms of matter, sound, smell, taste, contact, birth, stability, differentiation, male and female. They are called the ten forms. When a dharma is not in any of these forms, it is called formless”. If someone should cling to these forms, he would be in the world of birth and death. But if someone does not cling to these forms, he is above the world of birth and death; in other words, he is in Nirvana.

“By ‘formless’ is meant not to carry all kinds of forms in the practitioner’s mind, to be detached from all sensations and not to cling to any dhammas of past, present and future”.

From Buddhism: Analayaviyuha

2010-06-01T04:40:00.000-07:00

Analayaviyuha, name of a kalpa occurring in a list of kalpas in the Gandavyuha Sutra. Here is given a list of kalpas along with a list of Buddhas said to have been born in each kalpas, and Analayaviyuha is one of them, during which period 26 million Buddhas said to have been born.

A kalpa is a measurement of time in Buddhist cosmology, and is also consider as an era – a period of 4.320,000,000 (4.32 billion) human years.

Mankind is about 2,000,000 (2 million) human years old. Thus, the 26 million Buddhas were borned in other world systems from a past kalpa. According to the Buddha (our historical human Buddha - Sakyamuni Buddha) there are 10,000 world systems in the universe.

Our world is just a grain of sand on the riverbank of Ganges when comparing to the universe.

From Buddhism: Andhakas

2010-06-01T04:29:00.000-07:00

The theses of the Andhakas are recorded and disputed in the Kathavatthu as follows: -

01. All mental states are applications of mindfulness. As mindfulness is established in respect of anything, any mental state can be an application of mindfulness. The object of mindfulness being in the mind, they are themselves also the conscious subject of mindfulness. Patthana signifies the object of mindful application and the subject applying mindfulness.

02. The past, the future and the present, matter and the other aggregates exist. All things exist, in time, by way of material and other qualities, as past, present or future; they exist only in this manner. But material does not exist as sensation, perception, etc., and thus all things do not exist in this manner.

03. A single unit of consciousness or one single thought lasts for a day or more, for in a state of absorption there is continuance without interruption.

04. Realization of the four Paths and the four Noble Truths is a gradual process, as the ocean slopes and inclines gradually. There is no sudden discernments of insight.

05. The Buddha’s ordinary speech on common matters was supramundane.

06. There are two cessations of conflict, i.e., the third Noble Truth is twofold according to the cessation being effected through reasoned reflections or unreasoned reflections about things, and both of them are absolute.

07. The powers of the Buddha are common to his disciples. It was the generalization of this thesis which was objected to by Vibhajjavadina who did not deny that there were some disciples such as Anuruddha who also had some of the ten powers of the Buddha.

08. The power of the Buddha in discerning reality is ariyan not only as regards the extinction of mental intoxicants, but also in respect of his other powers of discernment of the deceases and rebirth of beings, etc.

09. A thought free from passion has attained deliverance just as a stained cloth when washed is clean. This thesis is obviously based on a misunderstanding of emancipation, which is not a mere absence of lust.

10. A person in the eighth stage, i.e., on entering the path of sainthood and before even reaping the fruit of such attainment, has abandoned the obsessions of heretical views and perplexity.

11. Such a person who has just entered the path is in the process of acquiring, but had not yet attained to, the five spiritual controlling powers of faith, energy, mindfulness, concentration and insight, although he may have these same virtues.

12. The divine eye is the physical eye when it becomes the medium of an idea.

13. Even the inhabitants of the unconscious spheres have perception, for it is said that consciousness arises in them at the moment of rebirth and of decease.

14. But one cannot say that there is consciousness in the sphere of neither perception nor non-perception.

15. The Buddha, in so far as in a previous life he had been a disciple of Buddha Kassapa with the name Jotipala, a Brahman youth and received from him the assurance of attainment, cannot be said to have been self-developed.

16. A person who has, attained the realization of arahantship is endowed with the three fruitions of the lower attainments; and as he had previously not renounced them, he possesses them persistently.

17. Arahantship consists of the putting away of all fetters. This thesis is rejected by their opponents on the ground that the five lower fetters have already been put away by earlier attainments.

18. He who has the knowledge of emancipation is emancipated. This statement becomes incorrect because of its lack of qualification. It is only the peace of fruition which is unconditioned emancipation.

19. When one attains mental absorption by means of the meditation device of an earthen disc he suffers from hallucination, for, while looking as material clay, he is conscious of something else, viz, the concept of extention.

20. All knowledge is analytical, because it is supramundane wisdom.

21. It is wrong to say that relative knowledge has truth as its only object, for there is a relative truth and the absolute truth.

22. Knowledge of the ways of thinking of someone else is limited in the object to have consciousness, i.e., not including the contents of such thoughts.

23. Knowledge of the future is present for in certain suttas the Buddha has predicted the future, thereby proving that at least for him there exists a degree of knowledge of the future.

24. Knowledge of the present exists. But the Andhakas seem to have implied in this thesis that the entire present without distinction is known.

25. Disciples can, like the Buddhas, state whether a certain person has won some state of noble fruition since both Buddhas and their disciples teach others the doctrine of attainment.

26. Assurance of salvation is unconditioned in the sense of permanent, for even if the path were to pass away, a person thus assured would not forfeit his salvation.

27. The attainment of cessation, i.e., the suspension of sensation and perception subsequent to the highest stage of mental absorption, is unconditioned, as the four mental aggregates cease to function and hence do not present the characteristics of conditioning.

28. Space is visible, because we have cognition of enclosed space, such as keyholes.

29. The four great elements of extension, cohesion, caloricity and vibration are visible, because the soil, water, a flame and the movement of the wind in the branches of a tree can be seen.

30. Earth is a resultant of karmic action, inasmuch as there is human action directed towards gaining dominion and sovereignty over the soil.

31. Old age and death are results of karmic action because some action is conducive to deterioration which is decay or old age, and to the curtailing of life which is death.

32. The fruits of the religious life being negative in so far as they are the abandonment of defilements and are neither thoughts nor mental factors, are not the results of karmic action.

33. The result of karmic action is in itself the cause of other results, because one result of karma stands in relation to another result by way of reciprocity.

34. The Andhakas considered the sphere of the asura (demons) as a separate destiny of rebirth, apart from the usual five destinies (gati), hell, the animal kingdom, the world of ghosts, the human world, and the heavens of the gods.

35. The element of matter consists of cognized material qualities.

36. In the spheres of form the Brahmas and others have sensation of smell, taste and touch, in addition to those of sight, sound and ideas.

37. Even in the formless spheres of existence there is material form, because “in dependence on consciousness arise mind and matter.”

38. Anyone who discerns the blessings of a virtuous life, thereby puts away the fetters.

39. The latent evil tendencies have no object, as they are distinct from the actual mind.

40. Insight belonging to the highest path of arahantship is sometimes without mental object, e.g., when visual consciousness is engaged with the visible object of the sense of sight.

41. One who has attained insight into the eight liberations and who can at will induce the four states of mental absorption is persistently in possession thereof. And thus a past or a future experience is actually his. The commentator’s objection to this thesis is the absence of a distinction to be made between the acquisition of the state, which is a potential faculty, and the actual possession thereof , functioning at that time.

42. The four aggregates of existence of a new lifespan arise before the aggregates of the expiring lifespan cease, without which there would be a break in the life-continuum, and being the new being would be totally different from, and unconnected with, the earlier existence.

43. The utterance of the words: This is conflict causes the rising of insight into the nature of conflict.

44. The conditioning factor by which resulting things are established is predetermined. The Andhakas based this thesis on a passage of the sutra: Whether a Tathagata arises or not, it still holds good that all component things are impermanent, fraught with conflict and without substance, for such is the casual law of nature which invariably fixes things as effects.

45. Impermanence itself, apart from impermanent phenomena, is predetermined.

46. One who has attained mental absorption takes pleasure therein as his goal.

47. The latent evil tendencies are different from the actual vice manifesting itself as an outburst; for, an ordinary man while having a latent tendency of hate or lust may yet without openly manifesting such tendency develop a morally good thought.

48. Outbursts of corruption take place sometimes unconsciously when the mind is distracted.

49. Just as desire of the senses is inherent in the spheres of sense-experience, so desire for things in the sphere of form is inherent in the worlds of form and desire for things in formless spheres is inherent in the formless worlds.

50. Erroneous views are indeterminate, i.e., neither good, nor bad. This thesis is based on a too general interpretation of the word “abyakata.” Speculation has been declared “abyakata” by the Buddha, as contradictory statements are “not declared” by him as true and false. In the ethical sense the term “abyakat” has the meaning of neutral when an action is neither morally skilful nor unskillful. The Andhakas applied this ethical meaning to speculative opinions.

51. Karmic action is one thing, the accumulation of karma is something else, for it goes on unintentionally, it is independent of moral action and has no mental object.

52. Material qualities are resultants of karmic action, just as consciousness and mental factors.

53. There is matter in the material as well as in the immaterial spheres. For, inasmuch as an act of lust is material belonging to the sphere of sense desire, and a material act is material belonging to the material spheres, so an immaterial act is material belonging to the immaterial spheres.

54. Lust for life in the spheres of form and the formless spheres is inherent to those spheres.

55. There is still accumulation of merit in the case of an arahant for he can perform good deeds such as the distribution of gifts.

56. As a result of excessive devotion towards the Buddha, certain Andhakas hold that the Buddha’s excreta excelled all other perfumes.

57. The fourfold fruition of the religious life is realized by one single path, as the Buddha and many arahants did not pass through the preliminary stages of stream-winner, once-returner and non-returner to attain arahantship.

58. Progress from one stage of mental absorption to the next stage does not require a reversion to the procedure of advertising, reflection, etc. involved in access concentration.

59. Certain Andhakas with the Sammitiyas explained the fivefold divisions of mental absorption, which is not found in the four nikayas, as initial application being the basis of the first stage, and by holding that sustained thought is not the second stage but only an intermediate step to the second stage of absorption based on the zest.

60. Without taking into consideration the two kinds of voidness, one concerning the unsubstantiality of the physical and mental aggregates and the other concerning Nibanna, the Andhakas held that the characteristic of emptiness was inherent only in the psychic aggregate of mental factors.

61. The element of Nibanna is morally good because it is fautless.

62. In the underworld there are no beings as guards, but those who enter are kept there and punished by their own evil karma.

63. In the heavenly spheres are found celestially born animals, such as the wondrous elephant Eravana belonging to Indra.

64. The Buddha and his disciples possess the power to perform miracles whenever they wish.

65. The Buddhas differ one from another in degrees of superiority but only in respect of bodily features, duration of life, luster, etc.

66. All things are fixed as to their fundamental nature, for however much matter is subject to change, it is fixed as matter.

67. All karmas are fixed in so far as they work out their own effects.

68. An arahants attains final deliverance without having cast off every fetter, as he is still limited in his range of omniscience.

69. An arahant at his final deliverance develops a morally good thought, as he is always lucidly conscious.

70. An act of sexual relationship may be entered upon if there is a united resolve to be thus associated in future lives in samsara.

71. A bodhisatta in order to realize his supreme desire will be born in an evil existence, performing hard tasks and acts of penance under unorthodox teachers.

72. There are acts of loving kindness, compassion and sympathetic joy which may resemble the corruptions of lust, hate and delusion.

From Buddhism: Nuns

2010-06-01T04:24:00.000-07:00

It is not surprising that the nuns had a great devotion for Ananda, for it was he who championed their cause.

At first, the Buddha refused the request of Maha Pajapati Gotama, his step-mother, to be admitted to the Order. Undaunted by this refusal she walked all the way from Kapilavatthu to Vasali with other Sakyan ladies. Ananda found them outside the vihara, weeping and with swollen feet, unable to go to the Buddha’s presence again.

Ananda requested the Buddha to grant them their wish but was thrice refused. He then changed tactics, and inquired whether a woman could win the Fruits of the Path. The Buddha’s affirmative answer was a clue for him to push his argument further. “If they can win the Fruits of the Path, then why not grant them admission into the Order?”

The Buddha agreed, and on eight conditions Maha Pajapati Gotama and the rest of the women were admitted to the Order. That Ananda was a regular preacher to the nuns. He was also in charge of sending preachers regularly to the nuns.

Hsuan-tsang, who came to India in the 7th century A.C. says that even at that time Ananda was worshipped by the nuns as their patron saint.

From Buddhism: Anantamukha-nirhara-nama-dharani

2010-06-01T04:18:00.000-07:00

Anantamukha-nirhara-nama-dharani, the name of a Mahayana sutra, a fragment which mentions a feat of supernatural power performed by Sariputra, by which all the monks residing in the neighborhood were brought together in the hall of the Mahavana.

So, it is said in the sutra: “Wherever conflicts arise amongst living creatures the sense of possession is the cause. For this cause let a man leave any place where desire may arise. For the world is at the feet of him who is rid of desire.”

Beginning with an adoration to the Buddha and all bodhisattvas, the venue of the preaching of the sutra was the Kutagarasala in the Mahavana at Visala.

The Buddha addresses Maudgalyayana and says, “Let all those monks who live in the thousands of worlds you have visited assemble in the Kutagara hall.”

Instantly Maudgalyayana appeared on the peak of Mount Sumera and said in a voice that could be heard and understand in the thousand worlds, “Listen, all you beings in the world: A sermon shall be preached here. May those desirous of listening come.”

Hearing this, four myriads of monks assembled there. Then Sariputra exercised his supernatural power and brought together all monks who were followers of the Sravakayana, Pratyekabuddhayans and Mahayana.

The Buddha then addressed bodhisattvas of different categories, some of whose names are mentioned, and wished that they would assemble. They did so in groups of millions.

Sariputra observed the admirable attainments of the bodhisattvas and asked the Buddha how they acquired them. The Buddha said that it was through the power of a dharani which he quoted.

The sutra ends with the statement that the congregation lauded the sermon of the Buddha.

From Buddhism: Parabhava Sutta

2010-06-01T04:06:00.000-07:00

The four matters discussed in this sutra could briefly be stated thus:

(1) to supply the worldly beings with means of living, and to feed animals with pity;

(2) to support the poor and needy with compassion;

(3) to refrain from eating meat, and to remain firmly fixed to observing the five precepts;

(4) to respect the sramanas with due regards and honor.

In addition, the sutra mentions that the person who complies with the four matters summarized above, worships and honors the Buddha in all respects. In other words, although he does not worship the Buddha, his act of cleaving firmly to the ‘four matters’ is equivalent to worshipping the Buddha.

From Buddhism: Anabhirati Jakata (2)

2010-06-01T04:02:00.000-07:00

Anabhirati Jakata (2) told by the Buddha to a Brahman of Savatthi who could repeat the three Vedas by heart. Later he married and settled down, but from that day he could not repeat the Vedas, as his mind was distracted with other things such as wealth and servants.

One day he visited the Buddha at Jetavana and related his plight to him. The Buddha consoled him by saying that such things were not uncommon and related this story by way of illustration:

Long ago the bodhisatta was born in a Brahman family. He grew up, completed his studies at Takkasila, became a teacher of repute himself and taught the Vedas to a large number of youths. Among them was a very brilliant student who learnt all the Vedas by heart and became a master of rituals. Later he got married, and household worries began clouding his mind; his memory gradually faded, and the pupil reported the matter to the teacher, who advised him saying that serenity of mind was essential to a good memory.”

From Buddhism: Anabhirati Jataka (1)

2010-06-01T03:57:00.000-07:00

Anabhirati Jataka (1) related by the Buddha at Jetavana to a layman who was upset on account of his wife’s misconduct. He used to visit the Jetavana monastery regularly, but later his visits became less frequent, and when the Buddha questioned him, he answered that he was somewhat upset on account of his wife’s misconduct. The Buddha consoled him saying: “Even long ago wise men advised you not to get angry at the naughtiness of women, but to preserve your equanimity; this, however, you have forgotten.” Then at the layman’s request, the Buddha related the following story.

Long ago the bodhisatta was a teacher of world repute at Baranasi. A pupil of his, finding that his wife was unfaithful to him, kept away from the classes for a few days. When the pupil made his appearance the teacher questioned him, and the pupil told his sad story. The teacher said: “My son, women cannot be regarded as private property. They are accommodating to all. Wise men, knowing their frailty, are not excited to anger against them.”

From Buddhism: Buddha Amitabha

2010-06-01T03:51:00.000-07:00

One day Ananda who, having noticed that the Buddha is in a state of spiritual exaltation, asks him what he is seeing or thinking about.

Thereupon, the Buddha relates how there was a line of eighty-one Tathagatas, beginning with Dipankara and ending with Lokesvararaja. In the period of this last Tathagata, a monk named Dharmakara forms the resolve of himself becoming a Buddha and asks the Tathagata to become his teacher and to describe to him what is Buddha and a Buddha-country ought to be. The Tathagata tells him not only of one but of all the Buddha-countries and the Buddhas presiding over them.

Having heard these discriptions, Dharmakara spends five kalpas revolving in his mind all their perfections and excellences and in the end resolves that they should all be concentrated in his own ksetra when he becomes a Buddha. He then reappears before Lokesvararaja and describes at length what his wishes are and what he wants his Buddha-country to be. These are contained in a list of 48 vows. It is these vows that form the nucleus of the sutra and they constitute a kind of prophecy of what, according Dharmakara’s ideas, Sakhavati or the Land Of Bliss ought to be. Dharmakara then becomes a bodhisattva and, having developed the qualities of bodhisattva for one hundred thousand niyutas of kotis of years, he ultimately attains supreme enlightenment.

All this is related by the Sakyamuni to Ananda as a sort of vision of what, in fact, had happened ten kalpas earlier. When Ananda asks the Sakyamuni where Dharmakara is at present, the answer is that he is now reigning Sakhavati as the Buddha Amitabha. The Sakyamuni then proceeds to describe Sakhavati, as a place of unparallel magnificence and splendor, in every way what Dharmakara had resolved it should be.

Ananda expresses a desire to see Amitabha, whereupon that Buddha sends a ray of light from the palm of his hand, so that not only Ananda but every living being could see Amitabha and his retinue of bodhisattvas in Sakhavati, while the inhabitants of Sakhavati could see the Sakyamuni and the whole of this, our world of Saha.

From Buddhism: An-avalokita-mordhata-laksana

2010-06-01T03:47:00.000-07:00

An-avalokita-mordhata-laksana, one of the eighty minor physical characteristics of the Buddha, which is a point at the top of the Buddha's head, invisible to all beings, even to beings in heaven.

"When the Buddha walks, heavenly flowers fall on him like snow, and there are no devas and flying birds that dare pass above the Buddha, and no being in the three worlds, sees the form on the top of the Buddha's head."

"When he was a bodhisattva, in innumerable worlds, he bowed his head in honour of all saints, sages, teachers, elders and parents, and he paid homage, praised, venerated and made offerings to them. So he was born with the an-avalokita-murdhata-laksana."

From Buddhism: Karmic Action

2010-06-01T03:39:00.000-07:00

Ahosi Kamma ‘action that was’ with the implication that it is no more. The doctrine of karma involves the active and the passive aspects of the process of mental volition. All the various classifications of types of karma have the efficacy of action in view, as functional, as productive, as intensive in its own sphere, or as extensive in duration and time. When action ceases to be re-active, this may be due to its force having been obstructed or even destroyed by other influences. It may be that, owing to a lack of opportunity to react immediately, the karmic force is lying in abeyance accumulatively. But, when action with volition is not given any opportunity, either here or hereafter, not through having spent its reproductive energy, or through destructive opposition, but merely through lack of time or appropriate conditions, it is said: “There has been action, there has been no karma-result, there will be no karma-result, and there is no karma-result now.”

As most types of action, however, have an inherent accumulative power of reproductivity without being bound by a time-limit, it is mostly that kind of action which must become reactive in this life itself which will become inoperative and ineffective as ahosi kamma, once the limit of this life span has been passed. Its potential force having lapsed, it cannot be revised again: just as a man who has been acquitted in a murder-trial cannot be tried for that same case. Another reason for karmic action becoming inoperative is the intrinsic weakness of an action. Thus, a thought arising as the seventh thought-moment of apperception is not strong enough to carry its effect beyond a second birth; and if such thought does not become subsequently effective, it also will be an action that was. “All ineffectual volition, by reason of their inherent weakness, and all time-barred kamma-s, by reason of their inhibition by more powerful kamma, are termed ‘have-not been-s’.”

From Buddhism: Destruction

2010-06-01T03:23:00.000-07:00

According to the Buddha’s explanation of existence, the concept of ‘being’ does not imply an unchanging entity but only a ceaseless process of becoming, nevertheless with the distinct identity of each retained. In this process everything is a product of antecedent conditions, these conditions themselves being merely the antecedent aspects the same incessant process. Thus origination and destruction are inevitable characteristics of all phenomena. Everything in the world is conditionally produced and the destruction of everything thus produced is inevitable.

This great truth of nature is found classically expressed in the well-known formula: “all conditioned things are impermanent: origin and dissolution is their very nature”.

In this Pali phrase the two terms uppada and vaya express this idea of origin and destruction that is continuously taking place in the world. There is nothing in the world that is exempt from this law of destruction. This destruction is said to be the culminating point in impermancence. This idea is expressed in the phrase “whatever is subject to the law of origination is also subject to the law of destruction”.

Time is the medium in which this destruction and origination takes place. When considered in this light every so-called existence turns out to be a becoming in time. Nothing remains the same for two consecutive moments. Thus it leads to a theory of universal momentariness, wherein the cause of destruction becomes nothing but origination itself.

This destructive nature of time is found expressed in this verse where it is said: “Time consumes all beings along with itself. And he who has become a time-devourer has burnt up that which consumes beings”.

This idea is further developed in the Abhidhamma to mean that entities disappear as soon as they appear. This concept of the momentary destruction of formations convert the universe into a kind of cinema, making existence a series of moments whose difference the ordinary human eye is not able to notice. This type of apparent permanence is sometimes designated as moments of duration in the three-fold process of origination, moment of duration and destruction.

Successive moments following one another evoke the illusion of stability and persistence. The dynamic concept of existence is the essence of reality as taught in Buddhism.

In contrast to this concept of momentary destruction, which, owing to its philosophic nature, could be called abstract, is the concrete kind of destruction of physical objects as exemplified by the breaking up of a pot by the stroke of a hammer. Such breaking up of the pot as well as its creation out of a lump of clay itself could also be described as outstanding moments in this dynamic process. In this case the incessant process of change has been expedited by some external cause. The breaking up of the pot only brought to the fore the destructible nature inherent in matter. Destruction of life has also to be similarly explained.

The ethical idea of the destruction of defilements is a very important concept in Buddhism. It is the doctrine on which the entire Buddhist practice is based. Destruction of the causes of rebirth, which is tantamount to the destruction of all suffering, is the duty of every individual. All spiritual exertion understood by terms such padhana and samma-viriya is always aimed at the destruction of defilements.

As an extension of the general law of destruction inherent in all phenomena this universe is also said to be periodically destroyed by water, fire and air and then re-evolved. According to this theory, a great period of cosmical evolution is to be divided into four incalculables which are (i) period of devolution, (ii) of duration of devolution, when the world remain devolved, (iii) of evolution, (iv) of evolution, when the world remains evolved. Here too, we may observe that in keeping with the dynamic nature of phenomena the world is changing continuously and these four stages are the special occasions in the process.

From Buddhism: Action

2010-06-01T03:15:00.000-07:00

For action can be considered in respect of its moral implications: good and evil actions, which is really not a view of action, but of the consequences of action, the result.

Apart from good action there is right action which refers to bodily actions only, right action being the abolishment from killing, stealing and wrong indulgence in the sense.

In the wider sense of action as karma, it is also right thought and right speech which have to be classified under kusala kamma; for action in its comprehensive meaning is volitional activity which may lead to mental, verbal or physical activity. This volitional aspect is the most essential characteristic of karmic action, and without such intention there would be no karmic responsibility, even if there were physical activity. Action then can be viewed as the cause of the effect and will be accordingly classified; for it cannot be a good cause which produced an evil effect.

From the point of view, action and its result can be considered from the time-aspect, i.e., the duration required for action to ripen in this life itself, or in an immediately following after birth, or in some further distance, future existence. Again, without taking into consideration the effect itself, one can discuss the intrinsic efficacy of action, its reproductive force, its supportive activity, counteractive or even destructive force, or in other words the function or power of action to generate, to maintain, to suppress and to destroy.

From the seriousness of the result, action can be classified as weighty and unavoidable, as habitual or accumulative, which will bide its own time to produce its fruit, if conditions permit. And if all that fails, it remains mere action spent, action that was and that will never bear fruit.

Karmic action being always intentional, there is a purely psychological conclusion to be drawn, viz., that only full-grown thoughts with volitional discrimination entail karmic responsibility; while mental processes which have not grown beyond the stage of sensory reactivity or perceptivity and which do not posses the active power of discrimination which moulds a thought with likes and dislikes – such process are not action, but reaction.

Finally, there is known that action which is born from the understanding of a need, and not from the hunger of greed. Action grown from greed and misunderstanding is karma which will result in rebirth. But action, which springs from the necessity of understanding, has no further motive and does not project itself into a future existence. It is action, pure and simple.

From Buddhism: Accaya (Death)

2010-06-01T03:09:00.000-07:00

Accaya is death in the Pali language. As will all ancient religions and philosophies the teaching of the Buddha, too, is greatly concerned with the problem of death. It is most often described as a phenomenon, as part of the process of life, the cessation of the natural function of life.

According to the Buddha, to a human being life is the most precious possession and also the most difficult to obtain.

Death is the end of the present life, but not a complete cessation of everything. It is a going beyond certain limits, hence a fulfillment of time, a dis-solution of the combination which constituted life or a laying down of the bodily form. It is the end of a season, like the end of the rainy season or of the winter, holding within its folds the promise of a new spring. For, as birth leads to death, so death is the condition for new life. There is no punishment, but only a loss, which for many may be greater than the loss of wealth, but for some, very few indeed, the solution of the problem, the laying down of a burden at the completion of a task, for those “who in cessation have deliverance, in victory leaving death behind”.

The solution of the mystery of death lies in the solution of the problem of birth. For death is as natural to anything that is born, as disintegration is to whatever is composed. It is the inherent nature of the process of existence to arise and to cease.

“Death is inevitable for what is born…Just as the risen sun moves on towards its setting and never turns back even for a little while…So a living being travels on forwards death from the time he is born”.

And once the process of becoming has been in motion through the functional activity of the mind, the ensuring process of rebirth is but the conditional result. The cessation of this resultant process will be final only if the flame of passion is not being fed anew. Without the addition of new karmic activity the process of existence will run its course to its natural end, when death indeed will be a vanishing. Death is but a natural function of life. But as long as life is being revitalized by its own reproductive activity, death will be the ending of this physical existence, only to become the threshold of a new lease of life, a passing over, but not a final passing away.

Time In The Universe

2010-06-01T03:05:00.000-07:00

Two kalpas made of brahma's one day and one night. One kalpa for day and one for night.

The day has 14 Manvantaras, and similarly the night has an equal 14 Manvantaras.

Each Manvantaras is make up of 71 Mahayuga.

A Mahayuga is again make up of 10 Yugas, which consist Satya Yuga, Treta Yuga, Dwapara Yuga and Kali Yuga.

Satya Yuga has the length of 4 yugas; Treta Yuga 3 yugas, Dwapara Yuga 2 yugas and Kali 1 yuga.

A kalpa is considered to be 4.32 billion human years (4,320,000,000).

According to the Vedas, we are in the Kaliyuga of the the 28th Mahayuga in the 7th Manvantaras of Brahma's this day. The Vedas also say that the average human life span in each yuga is as follows:

Kali Yuga = 100 years
Dwapara Yuga = 1,000 years
Treta Yuga = 10,000 years
Satya Yuga = 100,000 years

Our World

2010-06-01T02:54:00.000-07:00

According to scientific reports, our earth is 4.5 billion years old (4,500,000,000), and human beings come into existence 2 million years ago (2,000,000).

Time in Buddhist cosmology is measured in kalpa. A Kalpa is considered to be 4,320,000,000 (4.32 billion) human years. A kalpa is one day or one night of Brahma, who is the Supreme God the Creator.

According to the Buddha: “The universe is shown to be one nebulous mass, sunk in darkness, soon appear in a liquid state from which the earth emerges. The earth is then showed to be visited with life from the Abbassara world, there to go through various transformations as a result of the desires of these luminous beings. In the course of transformation, time, light and darkness appear”.

We are from the life form of another world two million years ago. The Buddha acknowledged that we are now the third creation of mankind in this period of modern human beings. According to scientific reports, the modern human beings are now two hundred thousands years old (200,000).

From Buddhism: Agantuka

2010-06-01T01:25:00.000-07:00

Agantuka, a banker of Savatthi who gained great wealth as a result of an offering of alms he made to a paccekabuddha in a previous birth. However, he made no use of his wealth whatsoever, as he had repented of his offering afterwards.

It is said that Agantuka, in spite of his riches, neither spent on himself nor on others, lived very frugally and went about in a broken-down old chariot, refusing any form of luxury. After death he was born in Roruva Niraya. He died without an heir and the king’s men took seven days and seven nights to remove his wealth to the palace.

On being questioned by king Pasenadi as to the cause of the miser’s wealth and his inability to enjoy it, the Buddha narrated his previous birth. Agantuka had then been born a merchant in Baranasi. On his way to the king’s court he saw the paccekabuddha Tagarasikhi begging for alms and he ordered his own meal to be offered to him. But, on his way back, seeing the choice food that was his meal in the paccekabuddha’s alms bowl, he regretted that he had not distributed it among his servants who would have done some hard work in return. The Buddha explained that as a result of his offering to the paccekabuddha, Agantuka gained much wealth, but, because he could not make his after thought pure, he was unable to enjoy it. The Buddha added that for a perfect gift, the three thoughts – before giving, while giving and after giving – should be pure.

Added for the reason why Agantuka had no son, the Buddha traced the cause to another previous birth. Agantuka had been born as younger brother to the buddhisatta in a merchant’s family. The boddhisatta led a charitable life and, seeing the futility of worldly pleasures, went to the Himalayas to lead the life of an ascetic, leaving everything including his wife and young son, to his younger brother. The latter, overcome with greed for his brother’s wealth, drowned the son in the river one day, so that he could become the sole heir. By reason of this misdeed, Agantuka had no son or daughter in way of the subsequent birth up to that time.

From Buddhism: The Future Metteyya Buddha

2010-06-01T01:20:00.000-07:00

At the request of Sariputta who desired to know about the future Buddha, the Buddha Gotama spoke in brief about Metteyya Buddha.

The future Buddha will be born in India at Ketumati in a Brahman family. He will be named Ajita and will posses immense wealth. He will enjoy worldly life for eight thousand years and then will forsake the world after having seen the four signs.

Thousands of men and women will renounce the world with him. On the day of his retirement he will proceed to the great Bodhi tree. He will attain supreme enlightenment and then will set rolling the wheel of the law.

Many will escape worldly miseries by following the Dhamma which will be preached by the Buddha Metteyya.

We are now in the Kali Yuga of the 28th Mahayuga. The Buddha say the future Metteyya Buddha will live for eight thousand years indicated that he will be born in the Treta Yuga of the 29th Mahayuga. The life span of human beings during the Tretayuga period is 10,000 years. That will be 1,000,000 (1 million) years from now.

From Buddhism: Mindfulness Of Breathing

2010-06-01T01:06:00.000-07:00

Anapana-sati in Pali language means mindfulness of breathing is one aspect of contemplation of the body which is the first of the four application of mindfulness.

The Buddha considered the application of mindfulness to be one way to lead to the purification of beings and the solution of all problems; it is the approach to the knowledge of the Noble Eightfold Path and effects the realization of deliverance.

The first of these four applications of mindfulness has as object the body either within oneself or externally. Thus, while contemplating the body from within, one becomes aware of one’s breathing. One is aware of breathing in, and aware of breathing out. With intensified attention one becomes aware of slight nuances breathing: when breathing in, and likewise exhaling become longer or deeper, shorter or more subtle, it is noticed as such.

In the Buddhist practice, there is no retention of breath or any other interference with it. There is just a quiet bare observation of its natural flow, with a firm and steady, but easy and buoyant attention, i.e., without strain or rigidity. The length or shortness of breathing is noticed, but not deliberately regulated.

It is in bare attention, in watchfulness, in awareness, without the introduction of any type of regulation that lies the greatest value of this application of mindfulness. For, in this passive watchfulness without anticipation or exertion, without intention or eagerness of reaching a set purpose, “a calming, equalizing and deepening of the breath will result quite naturally; and the tranquillization and deepening of the breath rhythm will lead to a tranquillization and deepening of the entire life rhythm.”

The Buddha himself recommended this application of mindfulness of breathing as follows: “If cultivated and developed it is peaceful, excellent and unique, a delighted way of living. It conquers all evil and unwholesome mental states that have risen in the mind and makes them vanish in a moment, as a shower of rain lays down all dust.”

Mindfulness of breathing, however, in more than just tranquillization of emotions; it is a quieting down of all bodily activities, which is the entrance to the states of mental absorption. Or, if one chooses, this mindfulness may lead on to the path of insight, seeing the body as a process of origination and dissolution, realizing that there is just a body, passing on without grasping. It is in such realization of no-self that deliverance is attained through mindfulness of breathing.

The method of development is explained in five stages: learning the meditation subject, questioning about the same, establishing the subject, absorption therein and ascertaining the individual characteristic of such meditation subjects.
The counting of breaths is advised as a device to settle mindfulness and to cut off the external distraction of reasoning. One should count the breaths one by one at the completion of each breath, not making a series less than five or more than ten. Counting up to less than five necessitations a too frequent repetition of the beginning of the series, and that would not allow the settling of mindfulness; counting in series of more that ten might results in attention being diverted to number rather than to breaths. A breath is considered completed when the outgoing air strikes the nostrils. This counting, however, has no connection with the tempo of breathing and it is not intended to regulate the inhalation and exhalation. It is merely a help to unify the mind and keep it in the same direction, ‘just as a boat is steadied with the help of a rudder,’ which itself does not contribute to progress and speed. It must not be forgotten, however, that counting is mere device to settle the mind and, therefore, as soon as the distractions of reasoning have ceased and mindfulness is settling itself, the counting should be dispensed with.

The next advice is that concerning the connection and the uninterrupted following of the process of breathing with mindfulness, after the counting has been given up. The attention given to breathing is at the point of contact, whereby each breath as it were is fixed in mindfulness, just as a sawyer of wood pays attention to the point where the teeth of the saw cut into the wood, without giving attention of those teeth when they approach or recede.

Once such attention of mindfulness is established, it is sometimes not long before the sign arises. It is the acquired sign, a mental image which appears as if even with the eye and which varies with the different subjects of meditation. From this stage on, attention should be fixed on this image; and it is this fixation which marks the entrance of the mental process into absorption.

The sign or mental image in this particular type of meditation has naturally no direct resemblance to the material object. And thus the mental image rather conveys the impression of a light touch of cotton or silk or a gentle breeze. In others it creates the impression of a star, a cluster of pearls; or again of a wreath of flowers, a puff of smoke, a film of cloud, etc. They all are poetic attempts to translate a mental impression of gentle peacefulness according to individual perception. Hence this sign is called the counter image or the mental reflex. As soon as this images arises, the stage of neighborhood concentration is reached which is the access to the stages of mental absorption. It is at this point that a decision has to be made either to proceed towards absorption of mind which is meditation of tranquility or to turn towards meditation of insight into the real nature of all phenomena, which alone can lead to complete deliverance.

With the appearance of the mental reflex the hindrance towards perfection are arrested the mental defilements suppressed, but only for so long as mindfulness remains established and the thought-process remains composed. The hindrances and the defilements can be completely overcome and removed only through insight into the nature of all materiality which includes breathing and mentality, as being impermanent, the cause of conflict and without abiding entity. Only in the realization of these three characteristics can the path of sainthood be entered and completed.

Of the four applications of mindfulness which include mindfulness on breathing the Buddha said “whoever should develop these for seven days for him may be expected one of two points, either insight knowledge in this life itself, or the state of non-return to this existence.”

It is, moreover, the one kind of concentration, the culture of which brings all four methods of mindfulness to completion. And as these four in their turn bring the seven factors of enlightenment to perfection, leading to comprehensive insight and deliverance, it is, therefore, rightly that the Buddha spoke of this method of mindfulness of breathing as the ariyan way of life, the divine way of life, the Tathagata’s way of life, for he himself generally spent the three months of the rainy season in the intent concentration on in-breathing and out-breathing.

From Buddhism: Antarayika-Dhamma

2010-06-01T01:00:00.000-07:00

Antarayika-dhamma, or obstructing condition, explained in the text as that which obstructs the passage to heaven and the attainment to release. Obstructions constitute stumbling blocks on the way to the attainments of the fruits of the Path. In another place they are described as characteristic to the reaching of the eight states of mental absorptions and seven other states, to wit, deliverance, concentration, attainments, renunciation, escape, aloofness and states that are good.

The obstructing conditions which find mention in the texts can broadly be divided into two categories, viz., mental and physical

From Buddhism: Antarayika-Dhamma (2) Obstructing Mental Conditions

2010-06-01T00:53:00.000-07:00

Buddhism emphasizes the fact that family life and worldly cares are incompatible with the quest of higher spiritual development. Household life is said to be full of hindrances, which implies that the path to perfection cannot be fully traversed amidst the occupations and interests of household life. It is said that the blue-necked peacock can never attain the swiftness of a swan; neither can a householder, however good he be, equal to the monk. The perfect life of a monk, which is contrasted with that of a householder, involves withdrawal from the world. This withdrawal from the world, this unflinching severance of all home-ties, signifies the beginning of the path of holiness. Leaving the household life, and along with it all the material things enjoyed by a householder, is only the outward manifestation of inward mental renunciation. A life of holiness can be compared to a path beginning with this initial renunciation which after a gradual process of training ends in the utter destruction of such tendencies of mind as craving, attachment, grasping, etc. Hence the goal of Buddhism is frequently referred to as the cessation of desire or craving, of attachment, of grasping, etc.

A traveler on this path to perfection is confronted with many a serious obstacle or stumbling block. These obstructing conditions are referred to in the text as ‘antarayika dhamma’ and are said to cripple the endeavour of a person in attaining release.

Gotama is said to have attained Buddhahood after overcoming these obstructing conditions. The struggle with Mara and his host is a symbolization of this attempt to overcome the obstruction. Hence, the Buddha who rose victorious in the fight, was able to claim the leader’s place and roar the lion’s roar in assemblies.

Knowledge of the obstructing conditions is one of the four convictions of the Buddha. Neither a recluse, nor a brahmana, nor a deva, nor Mara, nor Brahma, nor anyone else in the world can legitimately reprove the Buddha, saying that the obstructing conditions enumerated by him do not, in actuality, constitute obstructions. On account of this self-confidence the Buddha fares along, having attained security, fearlessness and conviction.

The monk Arittha is said to have adhered to the false view that the obstructing conditions enumerated by the Buddha are no obstructions at all for those who take delight in them. The Buddha, who reproves Arittha for this pernicious view says that he had described in many a figure the pleasures of sense as obstructing conditions and that, if one were to take delight in them, his spiritual progress would be retarded. Making use of about ten similes, the Buddha explains the nature of sense-pleasures, the little satisfaction that could be derived from them, the great pain and tribulation to which one is subjected on account of them and also the perils that lie behind them.

The Majjhima Nikaya says that the pleasures of sense that are enjoyed here and now and those enjoyed hereafter, and also the perceptions of sense-pleasures that are enjoyed here as well as hereafter, belong to the realm of the Evil One (Mara), because these sense-pleasures conduce to covetousness, ill-will and destruction, which create a stumbling block here in the training of an ariyan disciple.

A similar description of sense-pleasures as obstructions or barriers to salvation is given the Therigatha. In all the enumerations of mental conditions which are obstruction to perfection, kama occupies the leading position. It is the first of the five hindrances, the three longings, the four attachments, the four floods of worldly turbulence, the four intoxicants of mind, the three cravings. It is frequently connected with terms which are expressive of the active, clinging and impulsive character of desire. The Buddha realized that suffering in the world is due to the attachment to pleasure of sense which give only an ephemeral satisfaction; hence this attachment is one of the greatest stumbling blocks on the way to the attainment of the perfect happiness of Nibbana.

The remark made by the Buddha, after reproving Arittha for misrepresenting him, is important. He says that it is not possible to enjoy sense-pleasures apart from pleasures themselves, apart from perceptions of sense-pleasures, apart from thoughts of sense-pleasures, implying thereby that it is more the mental conditions than the physical act that constitute the stumbling block.

Gain, honor and fame are also obstructing conditions, for attachment to them hinders the progress to perfection. They are the baits of the Evil One, tempted by which beings come under his influence and are tossed about in this ocean of existence.

Again, deliberate lying is an obstructing condition to the attainment of the states of mental absorption and the seven other states referred to above.

The commentary to the Majjhima Nikaya enumerates five kinds of obstructing conditions, to wit, actions, depravity, results, blaming and transgression of instructions. The fivefold conduct which finds retributions without delay, including the seduction of nuns, comes under the first category. It is said to be an obstacle to the attainment of release and not to the attainment of heavenly bliss. Adherence to false views comes under the second. The third is an obstruction which is physical. Blaming of the Noble Ones (ariya) constitutes the ‘upavada-antarayika-dhamma’. It is an obstruction only till one offers apology to the offended. Deliberate transgression of the seven offences is the last of the obstructions.

All these mental conditions obstruct the aspiration from reaching the further shore.

From Buddhism: Antarayika-Dhamma (3) Obstructing Physical Conditions

2010-05-31T15:31:00.000-07:00

The Anguttara Nikaya deals with eight obstructing conditions, which can be considered physical. Birth in hell; in the animal world; among the spirits of the dead; among the long-lived deva community; in outlying countries among unintelligent barbarians where there is no scope for monks and nuns, for lay disciples, male or female; in the middle country yet holding wrong views; in the middle country as a man foolish and unable to distinguish between good and bad.

All these forms of birth are considered obstructing conditions at a time when the Buddha has appeared on earth. It is said that even if one is born in the middle country and is possessed of intelligence, if a Buddha has not appeared on earth at that time, it is an obstructing condition. Because of this, birth or residence in a suitable environment is considered to be a blessing.

In connection with the admission to the Order of monks occur certain obstructing conditions which are also physical. Disease such as leprosy, boils, eczema, consumption and epilepsy prevent a person from embracing the life of a monk. There are other disqualifications such as not being a human, a man, freed from slavery, unindebted, and disqualifications which obstruct an individual from entering the Order of monks, there are others such as not completing twenty years and lack of a bowl and robes that prevent him from receiving the higher ordination.

In the case of the admission of women into the Order of nuns some other obstructing conditions in addition to those mentioned above, are given. If a woman were to be seen without sexual characteristics, who is defective in sex, bloodless, of stagnant blood, who is always dressed and dripping, deformed, who is a female eunuch, a manlike woman, whose sexuality is indistinct and who is a hermaphrodite, such a woman is not to be admitted into the Order.

These obstructing conditions which are has physical disease and disqualification, came to be multiplied, with the passage of time, as a result of the growth and evolution of the community of monks and the admission of undesirable people into the Order. On other hand, the obstructions that are mental seem to constitute and stumbling blocks, for they lie on the way to the attainment of the perfect happiness of Nibbana.

From Buddhism: Anodhi Sutta

2010-05-31T15:23:00.000-07:00

There are three suttas on the development of unlimited reflection on the aggregates.

The first describes the advantages, on seeing which a person should, without reserve reflects on the aggregates as impermanent. They are the appearances of all phenomena as lacking in fixity, absence of delight in any world, raising of the mind above every world, inclining of the thoughts towards Nibbana, destruction of the fetters and following the course of right recluseship.

The second deals with the advantages accruing to a person on the development of unlimited reflection on the unsatisfactoriness of all aggregates. He sees perfect peace in Nibbana.

The last of the suttas speaks of the advantages gained by a person on the development of unbounded reflection on the non-substantiality of aggregates. Such a person is said to overcome the thoughts of ‘I’ and ‘mine’. Destroying all egoistic conceptions he sees things as they truly are and how things are causally conditioned.

From Buddhism: Anomadassi Buddha

2010-05-31T15:16:00.000-07:00

Anomadassi Buddha is the seventh Buddha in the traditional succession of twenty-four Buddhas of Theravada Buddhism.

He had practiced the perfection for sixteen incalculable periods of hundred thousand kalpas, after which he was born in the realm of Tusita. There he passed away and was born in the park of Sunanda at Candavati, as the son of king Yasava and his queen Yasodhara. It is said that at his birth seven kinds of jewels fall from the sky; and since he had seen those precious objects he was named Anomadassi. He resided in three palaces: Siri, Upasiri and Vaddha. His spouse was Sirima, and they had a son Upavana by name. Anomadassi led the life of a householder till he was ten-thousand years old, and then renounced the world.

For a period of ten months he practiced austerities, after which, on the full moon day of Visakha, he went to the brahama village of Anupama to beg for alms. There, he received a meal of milk rice from the daughter of Anupama-setthi, and on his return Anoma, an ajivika, offered him grass for his seat at the foot of an ajjuna tree, where he sat in contemplation and gained supreme enlightenment.

His first sermon was delivered in the Sudassana park in the city of Subhavati; and the twin-miracle was performed at the foot of the asana tree, which stood at the entrance to the city of Osadhi.

He delivered sermons to three congregations, as a result of which king Isidatta from Soreyya, king Madhurindharassa from Radhavati, and king Soreyya also from Soreyya entered the Order.

His chief disciples were Nisabha and Anoma among the monks, and Sundari and Sumana among the nuns. His constant attendant was Varuna. Nandivaddha and Sirivaddha were his foremost supporters among laymen; and Uppala and Paduma among laywomen. His royal patron was king Dhammaka.

He lived for a span of one hundred thousand years and passed away at Dhammarama, his chief residence.

During the time of Anomadassi Buddha, the bodhisatta was born as a powerful yakkha-chief and had offered food to the Buddha. Anomadassi declared that the yakkha-chief would be born as the Buddha Gotama (our historical Buddha Sakyamuni) in the future.

Anomadassi Buddha lived during the Satya Yuga period of that kalpa as his life span was one hundred thousand years.

From Buddhism: Fa-hsien

2010-05-31T14:48:00.000-07:00

The information furnished by Fa-hsien in his travel account occupies a unique place as a source for the study of Buddhist history in the countries he visited during his arduous journey to India and back home to China. It also gives as valuable information on social, economic, cultural, administrative, geographical and climatic conditions of the countries which he visited. In all he had visited thirty countries, Fa-hsien approached the task of writing his travel accounts without making value judgments; his main purpose was to report what he saw and heard.

Fa-hsien was not the first traveler to visit India in search of Buddhist teachings. Buddhism was introduced into China, according to Chinese historical tradition, during the reign of Emperor Ming (A.C.58-75) of the later Han dynasty. Trade routes which connected East Asia with the west helped promote Buddhist missionary activities from very early times. The evangelizing zeal with which dedicated Indian monks propagated Buddhism in the east caused ripples in Chinese religious life. One reason was undoubtedly, the missionary activities of King Kanishka. The movements of pilgrims from the second century A.C. between India and China resulted in the introduction of the canonical works in China. In the earliest phase, most of the canonical works reached China through the Central Asian kingdoms and not directly from India. In fact, the spread of Buddhism to Central Asia took place during the reign of Emperor Asoka.

The Chinese monks who were intent on studying Buddhism thoroughly were not content with the number of works available at the time. This made them go to India in search of more books. The Chinese monks also felt the need for additional monastic rules for the reason that the disciplinary conduct among them was not satisfactory. Monastic discipline deteriorated as the Buddhist monks in China kept on increasing in number thereby posing fresh issues.

Fa-hsien whose secular name was Kung entered the Order at the age of three. He was a native of Wu-yang country in the prefecture of P’ing Yang. It is said that he was ailing badly whenever he was at home and kept good health whenever he was at the monastery. Thus he seldom went back home. After the death of his parents, when he reached maturity at the age of twenty, he received the Higher Ordination.

Fa-hsien was extremely mindful of the disciplinary conduct of Buddhist monks in China. Incompleteness of the Chinese translation of the Vinaya Pitaka, however, stood in the way of preparing a complete code of disciplinary rules and it was to fill this gap that he resolved to risk the journey full of adventure to India. The main purpose of his journey was to search for the complete collection of the Vinaya Pitaka.

Incredible though it may appear Fa-hsien was sixty-five years of age when he launched upon his project. He was seventy-nine years at the completion of his mission. He set out from Ch’ang-an in Central China in A.C.399 during the reign of Emperor An of the Tsin dynasty accompanied by four colleagues Hui-ching, Tao-cheng, Hui-ying and Hui-Wei. As will appear in the sequel, another group of five pilgrims joined the first group later.

Fa-hsien carried through for the faith’s sake, a supremely dangerous expedition, in the glow of which the journeys of St. Paul melt into insignificance. He practically walked from Central China across the Gobi desert, Khotan, Pamir plateau and over Hindu Kash to India and also to Sri Lanka. On his voyage back he met with even worse experiences and reached his destination after many hair breath escapes.

Having set out Chang-an in Central China Fa-hsien and his party traversed a long route before they reached the garrison town of Changyeh. Due to political unrest in Changyeh the roads were impassable. The pilgrims could not have gone ahead but for the kind intervention of the king of that city. Here they met the second group of pilgrims comprising Chih-yen, Hui-chien, Seng Shao, Pao-yun and Seng-Ching who, it is said, shared with the first group one common purpose. The party of ten pilgrims went together up to Tun-huang at the end of the Great Wall and Fa-hsien with four others went ahead leaving the rest behind.

Fa-hsien describe the difficulties encountered in the journey, particularly, in crossing the desert of Gobi thus; “In this desert there are a great many evil spirits and also hot winds, those who encounter them perish to a man. There are neither birds above nor beasts below. Gazing on all sides, as far as the eye can reach in order to mark the track, no guidance is to be obtained save from the rotting bones of dead men which point the way.” After traveling seventeen days covering a distance of one thousand and five hundred li they reached Shan Shan (Shen-shen) to the south of Lop Nor and then Kara Shahr (Agni). Monks in both places belonged to the Lesser Vehicle and there were four thousand of them in each. Both laity and the clergy practiced religion in somewhat modified form. In Kara Shahr monks followed religious observations so strictly that the monks from China were either nor disposed to accept such rites or were not permitted to take part in these rites. Fa-hsien was entertained there for over two months by a Chinese monk until he was rejoined by Pan-yun and the others. Pilgrims got the impression that the people of Kara Shahr were lacking in courtesy and were mean to their treatment of strangers. Here some members of the party went back towards Turfan in search of funds. Fa-hsien and the rest being provided with the necessary means were able to proceed on their journey towards the southwest.

Again after a month’s tedious journey they reached Khotan, a rich and prosperous country in Central Asia. All the inhabitants there were Buddhists and most of the monks belonged to the Greater Vehicle. The monks who were several tens of thousands in numbers were friendly and provided lodgings and other facilities for the guest monks. Fa-hsien was highly impressed by the demeanor of the monks who assembled to partake of their meals. They are described in the following manner: “When they enter the refectory their demeanor is grave and ceremonious; they sit down in regular order; they all keep silence; they make no clatter with their bowls.”

Hui-ching, Tao-chen and Hui-ta went ahead to Kashgar (Khalcha) as Fa-hsien and others remained behind for three months to see a procession called the image procession. Fourteen large monasteries each in its turn celebrated the procession for fourteen days, one after the other, the opening ceremony being celebrated by the Gomati vihara. The most striking feature of the image procession was a four wheeled car in the shape of a movable palace as found in the procession of Hindu temples in India even upto present times. The procession began on the first of the fourth month and ended on the fourteenth.

After the processions were over Seng-shao set out with a Tartar Buddhist towards Kashmir. Fa-hsien accompanied by some of his colleagues went on to Karghalik (Chakula) where there were more than one thousand monks mostly belonging to the Greater Vehicle. They spent the summer retreat at a place called Tash Karghan and then reached Kashgar (Khaicha) in the middle of the Pamirs, where they met Hui-ching and others who had set out in advance. There were more than one thousand monks belonging to Hinayana in Kashgar. The king of that country held an assembly called the Great Five year Assembly (Pancavarsha) to which monks were invited from all quarters.

In the seventh century, Ywang Chwang saw such assemblies being held in North India under the patronage of King Harshawardhana. An important item of the ceremony was the offering of cloth and of all kinds of jewels and such things as needed by monks; some of these offerings were later redeemed from them. Giving annual tithes to monks was another custom which prevailed in Kashgar. In much the same way offerings were made to monks in the Middle Kingdom as well as in Sri Lanka. Fa-hsien refers to various relics of the Buddha in and outside India. One of these was the Buddha’s stone spittoon which the Kashgar Buddhists had come to posses. This country also has stupa built enshrining one of Buddha’s teeth.

As a pilgrim dedicated to the promotion of Buddhism one could expect Fa-hsien to record only religious conditions in the countries he visited. It is interesting to note that his attention was drawn also to secular aspects of diverse nature. With regard to the vegetation in Kashgar he says that except for bamboo, pomegranate and sugar cane, the other plants differ from those of China. No grain other than wheat would ripen there. People living east of the hills in Kashgar dressed like those in China except that they were felt and serge.

Dangers that could befall the people traversing the Pamir range from Kashgar towards India are described by Fa-hsien thus; “There are also venomous dragons which, when incensed, breaths out pestilential wind, rain and snow or cause most fearful sand storms. Not one man in two thousand can escape from these with his life.” This description appears to be the personifications of nature’s cruelties.

Amidst dangers, the pilgrims managed to reach Darada on the borders of India. Monks there studied Hinayana Buddhism. Fa-hsien saw an image of the Maitreya Bodhisattva eight feet high and eighty feet broad at the base. According to Fa-hsien Buddhism spread east after the setting up of that image which took place 300 or 350 years after the parinirvana of the Buddha. From that point again the journey was a difficult one. The party journeyed on for fifteen days over a precipitous and dangerous road. “The side of the mountain being like a stone wall ten thousand feet in height. On nearing the edge, the eye becomes confused and wishing to advance the foot finds no resting place.” The next barrier was the river Indus which they crossed with a suspension bridge of ropes.

The country which they reached after crossing the Indus was Udyana which, according to Fa-hsien, was the northernmost point of India. All the inhabitants there spoke the language of Central India which they called the Middle Kingdom. The laymen’s clothes and food were like those in the Middle Kingdom. There were about five hundred monasteries of the Hinayans school. A guest monk is entertained there only for three days and thereafter he had to find a place for himself. While Hui-ching, Tao-chen and Hui-ta went on ahead to the country of Nagarahara, Fa-hsien and others remained behind for the summer retreat.

Setting out from Udyana the pilgrims reached Suvastu and then Gandhara and Taksasila. Hinayana Buddhism flourished in those countries. All these countries were associated with the former existence of the Gotama Buddha and stupas had been built in honor of his revered qualities.

Upon his arrival in Purushapura (Peshawar) Fa-hsien was highly impressed by the stupa built there by King Kanishka. None of the stupas and temples that he had seen on his way could compare with this stupa in magnificence and stateliness. Fa-hsien relates an episode according to which the King of Sakas (Ephtalites) invaded Purushapura in order to carry off the Buddha’s almbowl which was found there, but he did not succeed. Having stayed in Purushapura as long as they wished Hui-ching, Jui-ta and Tao-cheng went ahead to Nagarahara. Then, Hui-ta joined Pao-yun and Seng-Ching to return home. Hui-ying died in Buddha’s Bowl monastery. Fa-hsien proceed alone to the temple of Buddha’s Skull.

The city of Hilo was unique in as much as it possessed the Buddha’s Skull, a relic not mentioned in any other source. The skull is pale yellow, about four inches across and has lofty cranium. The King of the city had appointed eight men of noble families, each with a seal, to seal the temple in order to safeguard the relic. The king, the lay disciples and also the elders attended to their duties or household affairs after making their offerings to the Skull.

The city of Nagarahara (Jelalabad) and its adjoining areas within one yojana of the city claim to have possessed certain relics, some of which are not much known. They were the pewter topped staff of the Buddha, his robe, hair and nails. Devotees believed that when the robe was taken out and offerings made to it heavy rain fell in times of drought. The Tooth relic in Sri Lanka also is believed by the faithful to possess such powers.

Half a yojana south of the city of Nagarahara is a cave in which the Buddha is said to have left his shadow which looked exactly like the Buddha at a distance of ten paces or so. It is also believed that a stupa near the cave had been built by the Buddha and his disciples as model for future stupa. The historicity of these, however, remains to be established.

Setting forth from Nagarahara Fa-hsien and his two companions went southward across the Little Snowy Mountains (Safed Kob) in bitter cold. Being unable to beat the cold Hui-ching breathed his last. Fa-hsien caressed him lamenting bitterly and cried saying, “You have failed in your purpose, Yet such is fate.” Fa-hsien and Tao-cheng, the only companion of the former group, from that point onward, went ahead visiting the countries, Lakki (Afghanistan), Harana (Falana or Banni), and Uchcha (Bhida in Punjab). Except in Harana where there were three thousand Hinayana monks, the other two countries had monks of both vehicles. The local people were so amazed to see monks from distant China who had come so far in search of Buddhism.

The next important centre visited by Fa-hsien was Mathura. On the way to Mathura he saw a large number of monasteries with some ten thousand monks. In Mathura itself there were about three thousand monks with twenty monasteries situated on either side of the river Jumna.

Fa-hsien’s account on the Middle Kingdom, which according to him lay south of Mathura, shows that of the countries he had visited that country was the most agreeable with regard to climate, living conditions of the inhabitants, their religious upbringing, administration etc,. The climate was temperate without frost or snow. The inhabitants were rich and contented. Kings governed the country without recourse to capital punishment. The people of this country kill no living creatures, drink no wine nor eat onion or garlic. Mention is also made of the use of ‘cowries’ as medium of exchange.

As for the Buddhist monks Fa-hsien say that from the very days of the Buddha kings and other devotees provided monks with beds and beddings, gardens, fields as well as husbandmen and cattle. Lands were donated by title deeds which none dare to annul.

Guest monks were treated in keeping with the Vinaya rules. When a guest monk came to a monastery resident monks used to welcome him; carry his robes and alms-bowl for him. They also used to bring water to wash his feet and oil to anoint them. Facilities for lodgings were provided in accordance with his seniority.

Stupas built in honor of the two chief disciples, Sariputra (Sariputta) and Maudgaliputra (Moggallana) and also of Ananda are mentioned together with other stupas built in honor of the three-fold division of the Canon, the Abhidhamma, the Vinaya and the Sutras. Another interesting reference is made to the staging of religious drama. One play had as its theme Sariputra’s going to the Buddha to ask for ordination. Similar plays were staged to characterize Maudgaliputra and Kasyapa. By Kasyapa is probably meant Maha Kasyapa.

Even more interesting was a ritual practice performed by nuns and novices. They made offerings respectfully at the stupas built in honor of the elders Ananda and Rahula. Similarly the teachers of each of the three divisions of the Canon made offerings at the stupas built in honor of the Abhidhamma, the Vinaya, and the Sutras each to the stupa pertaining to his speciality. The followers of the Mahayana school made their offerings to the Saints, Prajna Paramita, Manjusri and Avalokitesvara.

As shown above the custom of monks receiving annual tithes prevailed in other countries such as Kashgar. According to Fa-hsien the custom prevailed also in the Middle Kingdom. It is interesting to note that even Brahmins offered robes and other requisites to monks. A special feature of the occasion was that monks made offering to one another.

Fa-hsien locates Samkaya to the south east of the Middle Kingdom the place where the Buddha is said to have descended from the Trayastrimsat (Tavatimsa) heaven after preaching the Law to his mother for three months. This place appears to have been clearly associated with the Buddha, for according to Fa-hsien, several monuments had been built in his honor there. Here about one thousand monks and nuns studied both Hinayana and Mahayana.

Fa-hsien mentions the city of Kanyakubja (Kano), the village Hari (Arijakavana) and the country of Vaisakha (Visakha or Ajudhya) as important centers of Buddhism. Reference to Buddha’s willow chewing stick and its growth to a height of seven feet in the country of Vaisakha has a special significance. What is important here is the Buddha had used a willow chewing stick to clean his teeth just like other ordinary monks.

When Fa-hsien visited the city of Sravasti in the country of Kosala the city had been sparsely populated but its glory was still there. Among the religious monuments such as the Jetavana monastery found at Sravasti two stupas had been built to commemorate Angulimala, (q.v.) one stupa being built at the site of his conversion by the Buddha and the other at the site of his cremation. Among other stupas one was at the site of the murder of courtesan Sundari and another on the spot where the Buddha debated with the teachers of ninety-six heretical sects. Carving of the first Buddha image is attributed to King Prasenajit (Pasenadi). The king in his eagerness to see the likeness of the Buddha when he was away in Trayastrimsat heaven for ninety days carved an image of the Buddha. The authenticity of this is questioned by modern critics. On arriving at the Jetavana Retreat where the Buddha spent twenty-five rainy seasons, the greatest number of rains residence he lived in one single monastery, Fa-shien and his companion were immersed in deep thought. As they gazed at the place in which the Buddha once lived, but where he was no longer to be seen, they were deeply moved.

According to Fa-hsien Devadatta’s followers made offerings to three former Buddhas except the Sakyamuni Buddha. This indicated the continuance of Devadatta’s religious movement even up to the fifth century A.C. That the worship of former Buddhas had been a popular cult in many other places in India is also revealed by Fa-hsien.

At the time of Fa-hsien’s visit Kapilavastu looked completely deserted except for a few monks and a few dozen families of the laity. Among the ruins of the palace of King Suddhodana was an image of the prince’s mother showing the prince riding a white elephant coming to enter his mother’s womb. Several stupas had been erected to mark important events of the Buddha’s life before and after his enlightenment. Fa-hsien also names the four places which are always pre-determined for Buddhas; where the Buddhas shall attain Buddhahood, where they shall begin to preach, where they expound the Law and refute heretics and where they shall descend from the Trayastrimsat heaven.

A monastery situated in Ramagrama five yojanas east of Buddha’s birth place is reminiscent of the forest called Parileyyavana where the Buddha is said to have been attended on by an elephant and a monkey. It is said that a herd of elephants used to water the ground and offer flowers at the monastery there. A monk who visited the place stepped down to the rank of a samanera and performed all the duties connected with the monastery. The position of abbot at that monastery, as a matter of fact, was held by a samanera thereafter.

Fa-hsien locates the spot on which the Buddha entered Parinirvana to the north of the city of Kusinagara (Kusinara). Stupas had been erected at the sites where Subhadda, the last disciple of the Buddha entered the Order and where the Buddha’s coffin received homage for seven days. Even this city had been almost deserted with only a few monks and laymen as its inhabitants.

Fa-hsien refers to a number of important sites in Vaisali. Such for instants are the venue of the Second Council and the site of the Capala cetiya (pagoda of Discarded Arms) at which the Buddha made the pronouncement that he would enter parinirvana three months later. With regard to the cause that led to the Second Council, he agrees with the ten points advanced by the Southern school.

A story not found in Pali literature concerns elder Ananda’s passing away. King Ajatasatru followed Ananda up to the confluence of five rivers, five yojanas east of Vaisali. Licchavis were on the other side of the river expecting his arrival on that side. If Ananda chose to enter parinirvana on this bank or the other bank it would have led to a clash between the two parties. In order to avoid an impeding clash between them Ananda entered parinirvana by bursting himself in the middle of the river by entering the element of fire (tejodhatu). The two kings on either bank apportioned the relics in two halves and built stupas over them.

Fa-hsien saw the rules of the royal palace of Emperor Asoka in the city of Pataliputra. A Brahmin called Radhasvami who belonged to the Mahayana school and who had mastered al the knowledge of his day did much to propagate Buddhism and it was due to his effects that heretics were kept in abeyance. There were about six or seven hundred monks of both vehicles whose behavior was most decorous and orderly.

Pataliputra was, according to Fa-shien, the largest city in the whole of Middle Kingdom. The people there were rich and prosperous. Every year they held an image procession on the eighth day of the second month. A four wheeled car (chariot) decorated like pagoda was taken in the procession. On each of the four sides of the car was a seated Buddha image attended by standing Boddhisattvas. About twenty such cars were paraded, each decked out in a different way. Mention is made also of charitable hospitals and a temple of Buddha’s Foot Print in Pataliputra.

The redemption of gifts made to the sangha prevailed in Nagarahara and also in Sri Lanka. Probably Asoka set the precedent for the practice. Fa-hsien tell us that King Asoka offered Jambudvipa to monks from all parts of the world and then redeemed it again with silver on three occasions.

In a valley surrounded by five hills was Girivraja the old city of King Bimbisara. Important sites are mentioned in the following fashion: “This is where Sariputra and Maudgaliputra first met Asvajit (Assaji), where Nirgrantha made a fiery pit and prepared poisoned rice for Buddha, and where King Ajatasatru gave wine to a black elephant in order to injure Buddha.” Even this city had been without inhabitants when Fa-hsien was there.

There were several hundreds of caves including that of the Buddha in the Girdhrakuta mountain. Fa-hsien claims to have seen the stone which Devadatta rolled down the precipice causing injury to Buddha’s toe. Among the ruins of the old city were the cave of Sataparna (Sattapanniguha) where five hundred monks recited the scriptures after the Buddha’s parinirvana, the cave of Devadatta and the black-cock on which a monk was about to commit suicide.

The city of Gaya had been virtually deserted during the fifth century. Prince Siddhartha lived as an ascetic in the vicinity of Gaya. Of the seven weeks during which the Buddha enjoyed the bliss of emancipation after his enlightenment referred to in the post canonical literature, five are mentioned by Fa-hsien. They are (1) His fixed gaze at the Bodhi tree, (2) His walking from east to west under the Bodhi tree, (3) The devas making offerings to the Buddha on a terrace adorned with seven precious things, (4) The blind dragon Mudalinda’s coiling around the Buddha and (5) Buddha’s sitting on a square rock facing east under a nyagrodha tree when Sahapati (Sahampati) Brahma came to invite him. At the time of Buddha’s Enlightenment there were three monasteries maintained by devotees. Monks living there adhered to monastic rules with meticulous care.

Asoka’s conversion to the Buddhist Faith is attributed by Fa-hsien to the exposition of the Law by an arahant who was about to be punished by the keeper of Asoka’ hell. A legend had it that Asoka caused a hell to be built for punishing criminals. This may be a veiled allusion to Asoka’s being cruel at the beginning of his reign and his change of policy later on in his reign.

King Asoka used to go to the Bodhi tree under which he repented his sins and observed the eight precepts. Asoka’s observing a strict religious life referred to in his Minor Rock Edict 1 may point to the issue. However, his queen Asandhimotta being jealous that the king visited the Bodhi tree often employed a man to fell the tree. It is said that the king found a device to restore the tree and again it grow to a height of hundred feet.

Traveling westward along the Ganges Fa-hsien and his only companion reached Varanasi in the country of Kasi. Tracing the history of the Deer Park retreat Fa-hsien also narrates how Kaundanya (Kondanna) and his four companions criticized the Buddha as he was approaching them and how they could not abide by their agreement not to receive him in the usual manner as he was approaching nearer and nearer. He also locates the spot on which the Buddha delivered his first sermon.

Fa-hsien, with his companion, came back to Pataliputra once again and with that they had completed their tour in North India. However, Fa-hsien’s main purpose of obtaining a complete code of Vinaya rules could not be achieved from any place in North India as there were no written books. Therefore, he had to go to Central India where in a Mahayana monastry he was able to obtain a copy of the collection of Vinaya rules. Both Li-yung, as well as Giles have translated Fa-hsien’s Chinese original into English to convey the meaning shown above. Nevertheless, the use of the regional name Central India in the above passage gives rise to confusion. Fa-hsien tells us elsewhere that people of Udyana, the northern most country in India, called Central India the “Middle Kingdom”. Thus, it appears that what was known to the people of Udyana as the Middle Kingdom was known to Fa-hsien as Central India.

Fa-hsien’s contention that he had to go to Central India for obtaining a complete code of Vinaya rules appears misleading for he has given us the impression that he had already been to that region. The country he reached after Mathura was the Middle Kingdom. Again the account, just following that dealing with the books obtained, say Tao-ching was reluctant to go back to China as he was so impressed by the disciplinary conduct of the monks in the Middle Kingdom or Central India where they were living at the time of copying the texts. It is appears that the names, Central India and Middle Kingdom used here differ from those referred to earlier by Fa-hsien himself.

Something has gone wrong somewhere, perhaps in the English translations or even in the Chinese original. Fa-hsien had been extremely careful to mention the time, distance, direction etc,. when he went from one place to another. In this context he merely says that he went to a monastery in Central India to obtain a copy of the complete Vinaya collection. Absence of the usual statistical data in this particular instance leaves us in doubt as to whether he actually went to any place in what he earlier called Central India or the Middle Kingdom after his return to Pataliputra.

According to Fa-hsien the copy of the Mahasanghika Vinaya which he obtained had been handed down in the Jetavana retreat. Does it, then, follow that Fa-hsien obtained the relevant text from the Jetavana retreat in Savatthi which he had visited on his way towards east? But he does not claim that he obtained a copy from the Jetavana retreat either. It is possible that although the relevant text had been handed down in the Jetavana retreat its copies were also available in later times in distant parts of India.

Fa-hsien’s journey to Champa could offer some clue to the question under review. He went to two important countries in Eastern India before he completed his tour in India. He went first to Champa and then to Tamluk. Champa was eighteen yojanas to the east of the place from which he had set out after copying the Vinaya texts. The distance and the direction tallies with Pataliputra from where he had not gone to any place prior to his going to Champa. It may, therefore he surmised that he actually obtained copies of the Vinaya and other texts from some monastery in Pataliputra itself.

Whichever be the place or the monastery from which the books were obtained there were six scriptures in all, (1) Rules of the Mahasanghika, (2) Sarvastivada vinaya in about 7000 verses, (3) Samyuktabhidharma-hrdaya sastra or Abhidharma is about 6000 verses, (4) Nirvana sutra or Yen sutra in 2500 verses, (5) Vaipulya-parinirvana sutra in about 5000 verses and (6) the Commentaries of the Mahasanghika school. Fa-hsien spent three years in studying written and spoken Sanskrit and in copying those books. As mentioned above Tao-cheng remained behind in the Mahayana monastery being reluctant to go back to China. Fa-hsien went ahead with determination until his main objective was achieved.

From Champa, Fa-hsien, went to Tamluk, a renowned center of Buddhism. He stayed two years in Tamluk copying sutras and drawing images of the Buddha and then set sail for Simhala (Sri Lanka)

Fa-hsien describes the size, the climate and the products of the country including pearls and gems. The king’s share in pearls and precious stones was three-tenths. He says that this island became a large kingdom owing to the attraction of merchants from other countries who came in large numbers.

At the time of his visit the Abhayagiri monastery was in its hey-day. There were five thousand monks there. Fa-hsien tells us that the splendor and magnificence of an image of jade, some twenty feet high, defied description. Having seen a white silk fan offered to the image by a Chinese merchant his eyes were filled with tears. Possibly, this reference is to the Samadhi Statue which is within the precincts of the Abhayagiri monastery. Fa-hsien also refers to the Tooth relic temple and the exhibition of the Tooth relic in the middle of the third month at the Abhayagiri monastery. As interesting allusion is made to store-houses of monks which were filled with precious stones and jewels. The description of a monastery on a hill forty li to the east with two thousand resident monks is evidently about the Mihintale. In the Mahavihara monastery there lived three thousand monks. Fa-hsien had seen a funeral ceremony of an arahant who belonged to the Mahavihara. Fa-hsien stayed two years in Sri Lanka and obtained a copy of the Rules of the Mahavihara. He also procured a copy each of the Dirghagama the Samyuktagama and the Sannipata all of which were in Sanskrit and were new to China.

On his voyage back across the unfathomable ocean full of dangers his chances of reaching the home country appear remote. On the way he stayed five months in a country called Yavadvipa (Java) where there were very few Buddhists. The next stage became even worse. In the midst of heavy rains whilst the provisions were exhausted, the pilot charted a wrong course. But, despite everything, Fa-hsien may have heaved a sigh of relief when he knew that he had set foot on the Southern shore of Laoshan in Changkuang prefecture in China and reached his journey’s end.

Conclusion; Fa-hsien’s travel accounts deal with nearly thirty countries. These accounts provide us with valuable information on religious as well as other aspects covering a wide variety of subjects.

We are greatly indebted to Fa-hsien for the knowledge of certain beliefs, customs, cults, ceremonies etc., prevailing in the countries he visited. He provides us with information on the Elder Ananda’s parinirvana through Fire meditation (tejokasina) in the middle of a river, the custom of building stupas in honor of the three chief divisions of the Canon, paying homage to stupas built in honor of Ananda and Rahula respectively by nuns and novices as their favorite objects of homage as is customary in the Middle Kingdom, the participation of Brahmins in Buddhist religious affairs in and outside the Middle Kingdom, certain articles used by the Buddha such as the stone spittoon (at Kashgar) and the pewter-topped staff (at Nagarahara) and the relative strength of the bhikkhu population of the Abhayagiri and the Mahavihara in Sri Lanka. Much of this information is rare, and some are not found in other sources.

Specific reference made to the two vehicles and their numerical strength in the countries visited by him shows that in his days the Lesser Vehicle had spread more widely than the Greater Vehicle.

Fa-hsien also draws our attention to the decline in glory of some renowned centers of Buddhism during the fifth century. He says that at the time of his visit Kapilavastu, Rajagrha, Sravasti and Gaya were virtually deserted and abandoned. To what extent, the heretical movement, alluded to by Fa-hsien, was responsible for bringing about this decline needs further investigation.

The perseverance, undaunted courage and determination of Fa-hsien were not shared by most members of his party. Three members of the party, Hui-ta, Pao-Yen and Seng-Cheng were back to China without fulfilling their objectives. Some members parted with the main group to visit places of their own choice.

Unfortunately for Fa-hsien, two members Hui-Ying and Hui Ching died on the way. Tao-cheng accompanied Fa-hsien upto Pataliputra and decided never to return home. The party which originally included ten members was reduced to one. It was only Fa-hsien who carried out the mission undaunted until the achievement of his objective

From Buddhism: Fear

2010-05-31T14:36:00.000-07:00

Fear arises from one’s conscience which is the result of the known. Knowledge is having ideas of things and persons. People have fear of losing things and persons next and dear to them. Fear exists so long as there is accumulating of the known. The common variety of fear comes through identification. So long as one it conscious of the ‘ego’ there is the continuance of fear. The Buddha says there is a more basic type of anxiety due to our deep rooted attachment to the ego. These emerge from the nature of the basic human conditions. Something while being pleasant is tied up with anxiety, as one is afraid to lose it. Buddha traces this predilection of ‘anxious man’ to grasp the basic truth of egolessness, which is the key to understand any form of anxiety. The belief in ‘I’ and ‘Mine”, though it gives a superficial feeling of security is the cause of fear and worry. In the highest form of courage, fear still persists as an element; there is at least the consciousness of the transitoriness of everything that is worldly and therefore the anticipation of danger.

Fear is one of the many emotions arising in the minds of any living being, both in the human and the animal worlds. An emotion occurs generally, when an object is considered as something attractive or repulsive. The general tendency is that people while impelling themselves towards the suitable objects, move away from the harmful objects through fear. This specific emotion of fear has been discussed by the Buddha on very many occasions.

There are various types of situations which cause fear. Fear is often caused by strong desires such as endearment, affection, attachment, lust and craving. To those people whose minds are devoid of such desires fear does not occur, strong desires and attachment to either persons or things cause fear. The desire for power, lust, jealousy and pride are intimately related to the emergence of fear. In the Bhayabherava Sutta the Buddha says that purely objective conditions can cause fear in a recluse who has gone to the forest. Such a recluse whose heart is filled with desire and longing, who is restless, witless and driveling becomes frightened at the rustling of leaves, by wind or a breaking of a twig by an animal. According to the Buddha, fear arises in those people whose minds are full of lust, ill-will and foolishness. In the Dussila Sutta of the Sotapatti Samyutta venerable Ananda declares to Anathapindika that terror, trembling and fear of death, as to what may be hereafter, come upon the uneducated when they think of their disloyalty to the Buddha, Dharmma and Sangha.

The emotion of fear appears to be utilized in Buddhism both as a deterrent force as well as stimulating one. In the psycho-ethical sphere, taking up feat as – deterrent…the Anguttara Nikaya refers to four kind of fears; fear of self-reproach where one blames oneself for committing an evil; fear of others reproach where one having committed an evil would fear that others would speak about it and he would feel uncomfortable in the company of others; fear of the stick where he sees the punishment given to the others by the king and he would dread the idea of himself being punished in the same manner.

The fourth kind of fear is the fear of degradation in the life after, of being born in the miserable existences after death. In this context these fears lead a person to abandon the practice of evil conduct in body, speech and thought and to develop the practice of good conduct. These different types of fear create in a man a lively sense of moral dread and shame which prevents a person from taking to an evil life and creates a basic of personal and social responsibility and a civic sense, for this sense shame and fear could be referred to as virtues, which regulate the mental order in the world. Dread and shame is a positive and a healthy sense which must be cultivated and developed by everyone, because one who lacks in these positive emotions lacks conscience. When a person’s conscientiousness and fear of blame are lacking, the control of senses, moral practice , right concentration, knowledge and vision, aversion, dispassion and detachment have no basic of growth and development. The stimulant aspect of fear is well explained by the Buddha in the following manner; “The bhikkhu who delights to heedfulness and is fully aware of the dangers of heedlessness, advances like fire burning all fetters great and small.”

According to the Buddhist commentarial literature the term “bhikkhu’ has been defined as one who sees fear in the chains of births and deaths. Cultivating faith in the Triad and having gained right concentration by following the noble-eighteen path these bhikkhus attain arahantship at which stage they shun all fear and hence they are called ‘akutobhaya’ (with no fear from anywhere). The Buddhas and the Pacceka Buddhas also belong to the same category. They have gained full confidence in themselves and thereby have shunned all the fears in the cycle of birth and death. In the Buddhist Nikayas Buddha is referred to as the dispeller of the dread, panic and fear. Absence of fear is the hallmark of a fully developed character. The Buddhas and the arahants are described as being abhayappatta, khemappatta and vesarajjappatta.

Fear has the nature of creating diverse psychological problems in an individual. This could sometimes drive a person mad. An overdose of fear, if instilled into a person, could be disastrous and would change his entire character. As apt example could be brought out from Buddhist literature where let alone the laymen even bhikkhus have gives up their entire career, because of too much fear. While preaching the Aggikkhandhopama Sutta to the bhikkhus, at the sight of a blazing fire the Buddha declared to them, that it were better for a man to take shelter in, embrace and lie down upon the raging flames than to live in the guise of a bhikkhu enjoying the alms of the faithful while being guilty of evil conduct. It is said that while this sutta was being preached sixty monks vomited hot blood, sixty left the Order in difference and sixty others became arahants. This is a clear instance where enlarged vision of fear, while acting as stimulant on one group of persons had crippling and deadening effect on another.

Fear of birth and death are two other forms of fear which are being often discussed in the Buddhist books. The fear of death is in the nature of psychological pain and this has been discussed even by the western scholars who are mere moral philosophers. According to Olson ‘Although death may be precipitated by painful disease, death itself is perfectly painless loss of consciousness, no more to be feared than falling asleep. Death terrorize us not because we fear it as painful, but we are unwilling to lose consciousness permanently.” The idea of concentration on death which is a favorite topic of meditation in Buddhism, is quite akin to the idea expressed by Senaca of the Stoics who says “to overcome the fear of death, we must think of it constantly. The important thing is to think of it in the proper manner.” Heidegger and Sartre like most existentialists urge us to cultivate the awareness of death as a means of heightening our sense.

According to the former the awareness of death confers upon a man, a sense of his own individuality. In Buddhism, the conscious and willful awareness of death serves as a stimulant and promoter of the ethical life. In the awareness of death, get through your activities in life as though your head were ablaze’, says the Samyutta Nikaya.

Fear could be both advantages and disadvantages in one’s life. It has been proclaimed by the Buddha, that whosoever does not transgress the Dhamma overcoming lust, ill-will, fear and foolishness, his fame would become perfect and full. If on the other hand, he were to transgress the Dhamma his fame would be destroyed. It is mentioned in the Dhammapada that a person does not become learned merely because he talks too much. But he who is secure, without hate and fear is called learned. Buddha has declared that whosoever follows the Dhamma, does no evil, who has no desire, ill-will and fear is reborn in heaven while the one who is the opposite is born in hell. Those who see fear in what is not to be feared and see no fear in the fearsome embrace false views and go to miserable existences.

The Buddha is said to have admonished his followers as to the ways and means of getting rid of fear. He says in the Dhajagga Sutta should any fear arises in the mind of a monk he should recall to mind the excellences of the Buddha, of the Dhamma or the Sangha and peace would come to him. Further he says he whose mind is not soaked (by lust), he who is not afflicted (by hatred), he who has transcended both good and evil, for such a vigilant one there is no fear. The Buddha’s advice to his followers was that, if we are keen to get rid of fear we must cut down the forest (of the passions) from which arises fear.

Although the utterances of the Buddha were ‘be ye an island of refuge unto yourselves O bhikkhus and do not take refuge in others’, the average Buddhist immersed in worldly life, sought refuge to outside agencies, sometimes to overcome various fears which constantly assailed him. It is mentioned in the Dhammapada ‘men driven by fear go to many a refuge, to mountains and to forests, to sacred trees and shrines.’

The Buddhist monks who were eager to cater to their needs started chanting the benedictory verses. The very meaning of this term, protection or ward-rune make it obvious that people always live in fear. A layman invites the bhikkhus by saying “May you chant the benedictory verses, so that it would bring us fortune and dispel all our fears.”

In the course of chanting these verses the bhikkhus say “May all fears be overcome and may there be no danger, but long life”. One of these verses reveals that people were even afraid of evil and inauspicious things such as unpleasant cries of birds, bad planetary combinations, bad dreams etc. and these fears they believed could be destroyed by the power of the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha.

Fear on the whole is destructive to the individual and it paralyzes activity and debases the quality of thought. All strain, doubts, hesitation, worry mental and to some extent physical fatigue, fall away when the thought of ‘self’ has been banished. The result would be, that it would increase not only the happiness, but also the efficiency, courage and confidence of the individual.

From Buddhism: The Female Principle

2010-05-31T14:27:00.000-07:00

The dual nature of the human being as the male and the female with their physical as well as intellectual and emotional differences is a fact that has to be admitted in any system of human thought. The problem of life is more or less the problem of the relationship between the two aspects of life, the male and the female, as symbolized by man and woman respectively in the phenomenal world. The teaching of Gotama being a practical solution to the problem of life’s conflicts, the question as regards the place he has accorded to the sexual polarity of man in his teaching is an important one.

In early Buddhism as handed down in the Pali literature of the Theravadins the comprehensive term brahmacariya (pure life) covers the entire content of the noble life as understood by Gotama. The most important feature of this higher life was the sexual purity of the practice. It means chaste living.

From one point of view it can be said that man, symbolizing the male principle of the universe, represents the active side of life while the woman, symbolizing the female principles of the universe, represents the passive side of life. In other words they symbolize the positive and the negative aspects respectively of one life-principle. But the two symbols cannot be torn as under from each other. Their appear separation in the empirical world is only a relative truth or a mere actuality. In an absolute sense there is no duality and the realization of this non-duality is the purpose of the religious life. In the world of actuality it is the combination of these two representatives of life-force that produces the individual and in the absolute sense it is the separation of the one from the other that creates the sexual duality in the world of actuality.

Whether we view if from the absolute or from the relative point of view, it becomes clear that the male has his female nature and the female has her male nature within their own psych-physical organizations. The fundamental difference is that in the male the active qualities predominate while in the female passive qualities are preponderant. In other words in every man his femininity is present within him, while in every woman her masculinity is present within her. The purpose of the religious life is the realization of this unity in the apparent duality. If any man were able to bring about a perfect balance between the male and the female natures within him, he would become a complete man who has transcended sexual duality. This applies to the woman as well. This, in short, is the meaning of the observances of chastity as a road to perfection as taught by Gotama Buddha under the term brahmacariya. This is the reason why sexual offences are said to make a bhikkhu fall away from the pure life he is expected to follow. A bhikkhu who has had sexual intercourse with a woman ceases to be noble. A man who undertakes to lead the pure life honestly must try to realize the unity of the male and the female qualities that are within him. For him there is no man or woman other than himself. This holds true for the woman as well. In a way the realization of the perfect union of man and woman within oneself is the true ‘sexual union’ for him or her. This kind of union appropriately designated as yoga in Indian philosophy, instead of tying one down to samsara releases one from it. It is psycho-physical meditational process aimed at realizing the non-duality state of the individual. It is the complete sublimation, but is no way the suppression of carnal desires. This is the philosophical truth based on which Buddhism upholds monogamous sexual relations between man and woman. A person who can sublimate his sexual desires this way by seeking union with the male and female qualities within oneself would be extremely difficult to regulate, let alone transcend it. This mutual attraction itself is the result of the necessity and the desire on the part of man and woman for union. But mere sexual union never offers a solution to the problem.

Instead it increases problems in many ways. The truth is that so long as a man or woman has not completed his or her own self by realizing the unity of the two sexes within oneself one has either to give in to the desires or suppress them. The true union between man and woman is something that transcends carnal appetite and the realization of this kind of transcendent love is the purpose of true love between the male and the female. The Greek conception of Platonic love is some thing analogous to this. It is the union with the Eternal Female, the mahamudra.

It is possible either to suppress sexual desire or to put an end to such desire by pandering to them. From the Buddhist point of view both these methods will increase one’s dukkha and in psychological language the victims of both these tendencies are split-personalities. He who suppress his desire is bound to become a mental patient or a pervert and the one who panders to every desire would end up as a physical and mental wreck. Satisfying the flesh in the latter way comes within the extremes of self-indulgence, while the killing of all desires by suppression is the other extreme, designated as self-mortification. For the achievement of the true yoga both these extremes have to be avoided and that is the purpose of the Buddhist way of life.

While the term brahmacariya in early Buddhism taught this path to perfection by sublimating the sexual desires, in the later phase of Buddhism generally designated as Tantrism the question is looked from a different angle. In early Buddhism, as could be gathered from the pitakas, the concept of the female principle is not treated as separate topic. Not even the male principle has been a serious topic of study for those thinkers of Gotama’s caliber. This might have been due to the fact that the intellectual environment of the Buddha’s time was one in which the problems or life were viewed from other angles, at least in Buddhist circles. In general, certain section of society seem to have believed in the sublimation of sex and the achievement of yoga through a life of chastity and this is the main theme of the pitakas, too.

When one considers the relative aspects of early and later Buddhism, as designated by the terms Hinayana and Mahayana, one can see that the idea of the female principle has been given more significance in later Buddhism in contrast to the place given to it in the early teaching. In early Buddhism, with the Buddha as the central figure, the male principle is more emphasized than its counterpart. The Buddha’s personality predominated in the entire teaching and he being a male, those who preserved the Theravada tradition seem to have overlooked the significance of the female aspect of existence. In the Theravada tradition the Buddha himself came to be treated as an ascetic who transcended the world, to be worshipped and revered, rather than as a practical man who had perfected his character both in theory and in practice. There was more theory than practice and the Theravada monks more or less became intellectual recluses divorced from the practicalities of life. But to counterbalance this there developed what is commonly called the Bodhisattva-ideal which attached equal importance to both theory and practice. Those who advocated this ideal treated the Buddha not as an escapist ascetic but as a practical and a perfect man. If Buddha is the symbol of such perfection of the male principle, why cannot there be a similar symbol of perfection of the female principle, there later Buddhism seem to have argued. It is true that there was no historical female Buddha on record. But the female side of life also could achieve perfection and enlightenment. The Buddha, as a male, has achieved perfect equilibrium between the male and female aspects of life by transcending sexual duality. And if the Buddha symbolizes this rare phenomenon as a man there can easily be a symbol representing the female achieving the same perfection. This resulted in the concept of the personalized Prajfiaparamita, depicted to a female symbolizing the perfection of wisdom, and which is one of the most important concepts of the Mahayana. Just as the Buddha, as a metaphysical concept, symbolizing the possibility of man’s achievement of perfection in the female form. Both are above the mundane difference of sex. Sophia of the Christian Gnostics and Surasvati of the Hindus are two other well-known concepts analogue to this Buddhist ideas of Prajfiaparamita.

As it was pointed out earlier, original Buddhism pays little attention to female deities, although the gods referred to are numerous. Whatever might have been the reasons for this, Buddhist India seems to have paid less attention to female deities than the male ones. This same trend of thought is reflected in the early Buddhist literatures of the Pali Canon, too. Hardly any place is given to female deities and as such it is natural that there was no possibility for a concept like that of Prajfiaparamita to develop in it. The practice of worshipping a goddess, which might have been a salient feature among the pre-Aryan Indians of the Indus Valley, seems to have greatly diminished in Vedic times and lost its significance in Buddhist India. But, with the development of the Mahayana, the worship of goddesses, influenced also by the Sakti cult of the Hindus, gradually assumed significance in Buddhism. There were tow sides to this development which can roughly be assigned to the 7th century A.C.. Both aspects are to be seen in what is popularly known as Tantric Buddhism. One line of development was in the direction of popular religion wherein magical practices such as mantras mandalas, mudras were given a place. It was in this same form of religion that at times erotic excesses were also resorted to. As can be judged from certain statements in texts like the Guhyasamaja-tantra, the symbols meaning of the realization of perfect wisdom seems to have been forgotten and a kind of magical Buddhism invented. The idea of Prajfiaparamita was the other line of development, where pure wisdom was regarded as a chaste and unapproachable goddess, transcending all sexual differences and as such regarded as the female counterpart of the Buddha. In this concept wherein the Buddha and Prajfiaparamita are regarded as symbols of perfection of the male and of the female principles of life, respectively, the two terms perfection and enlightenment have become synonymous. Unlike ordinary gods and goddesses who emphasize, by their bi-sexuality the polarity of the male and the female principles, the two concepts of Buddha and of the Prajfiaparamita both reveal the ecstatic state of undifferentiated sex, the ‘original man and woman’ as it were, in their undivided state of non-duality.

In Buddhism this concept has nothing to do with the practice of worshipping a goddess as a symbol of the creating energy of the universe in a divine form as in Saktism. The Hindu concept of Sakti symbolizes the creative power of the universe in female form whereas in Buddhism Prajfiaparamita symbolizes perfect wisdom, which by implication is tantamount to release, too, because she represents the female aspect of the Buddha. Hindu Sakti corresponds to the female aspect not of the Buddha, but of Siva as a personal god. The following words of Lama Anagarika Govinda may be quoted in this respect: “….Buddhist Tantrism is not Saktism. The concept of Sakti, of divine power, of the creative female aspect of the highest god (Siva) or his emanations does not play any role in Buddhism. While in the Hindu Tantras the concept of power (sakti) forms the focus of interest, the central idea of Tantric Buddhism is prajfia: knowledge and wisdom.”

“To the Buddhist Sakti is maya, the very power that creates illusion, from which only prajfia can liberate us…..” Elsewhere be further says “….even those Buddhist Tantras which build their symbolism upon the polarity of the male and the female, never represent the female principle as sakti, but always as its contrary, namely prajfia (wisdom), vidya (knowledge), or mudra (the spiritual attitude of unification, the realization of Sunyata). Herewith they reject the basic idea of Saktism and its world-creating eroticism.

It is this kind of perfect and undifferentiated union of the male and the female principles that is portrayed in Tibetan art as yab-yum or yuganaddha. The visual artist could not portray this all-important idea of yoga without showing man and woman in an embrace of eternal union. In such portrayals the figures are not sexual beings and “even their aspect of union is undoubtedly associated with the highest spiritual reality in the process of enlightenment so that associations with the realms of physical sexuality are completely ignored”. It is by taking these figures on their face-value as sexual being that they are very often interpreted as crude eroticism or religious blasphemy. Sexual attraction between the male and the female merely for the flesh is due to the absence of Samadhi within the individuals concerned. The union of the two in a transcendental sense means the sublimation of all base emotions and the Buddha and Prajfiaparamita symbolize the acme of this sublimation in the man and the female, respectively. In that state there is no raga, dvesa or moha no avidya and no tsna. It is the state of becoming one with the highest.

Philosophically it would be quite correct to say that the struggle of man centre round his perennial attempt at achieving perfect union with the second part of his split personality, the female. It is the same from the point of view of the female, too. If this union is achieved perfectly in a transcendental sense as so far discussed the struggle ceases with the cessation of the conflict between the two principles. Sexual differences between the male and the female are obtained only in the world of relativity (samsara) and the existence of such differences in only a relative truth. One who transcends this state of duality realizes the absolute, the ultimate state of integration, where no duality whatsoever exists. It is the uncreated state of the void which is aptly described by Govinda in the following words: “The becoming conscious of this sunyata is prajna: highest knowledge. The realization of this highest knowledge is enlightenment, i.e., if prajna (or sunyata), the passion, all-embracing female principle, from which everything recedes, is united with the dynamic male principle of active universal love and compassion, which represents the means for the realization of prajna and sunyata, then perfect Buddhahood is attained. Because intellect without feeling, knowledge without love, reasons without compassion, leads to pure negation, to rigidity, to spiritual death, to mere vacuity, while feeling without reason, love without knowledge (blind love), compassion without understanding, leads to confusion and dissolution. But when both sides are united, where the great synthesis of heart and head, feeling and intellect, highest love and deepest knowledge have taken place, there completeness is re-established, perfect Enlightenment is attained.

“The process of Enlightenment is therefore represented by the most obvious , the most human and at the same time the most universal symbol imaginable: the union of male and female in the ecstasy of love-in which the active element is represented as a male, the passive by a female figure-in contrast to the Hindu Tantras, in which the female aspect is represented as sakti, i.e., as the active principle, and the male aspect as Siva, as the pure state of divine consciousness, of ‘being’, i.e., as the passive principle, the ‘resting in its own nature.’

“In Buddhism symbolism the knower (Buddha) becomes one with his knowledge (prajfia), just as man and wife because one in the embrace of love, and this becoming one is highest, indescribable happiness. The Dhyani-Buddhas (i.e. the ideal Buddhas visualized in meditation) and Dhyani-Bodhisattvas as embodiments of the active urge of enlightenment, which finds its expression in upaya, the all-embracing love and compassion, are therefore represented in the embrace of their prajfia, symbolized by a female deity, the embodiment of highest knowledge”.

It is in this way that the attainment of Nirvana, the unconditioned state, as the state of absolute beauty, has to be explained from the standpoint of the sexual polarity of the male and the female principles, which, of course, is a mere incident of universal polarity.

From Buddhism: Fetter

2010-05-31T14:12:00.000-07:00

The search for Truth, for realization, emancipation and enlightenment assume to most people the form of a positive quest. They even personify the object of their search, which become a pursuit of God or the Absolute. Though great spiritual men have declared that ‘the kingdom of God is within thee’, the search becomes a pursuit of an objectified imagination. But a ‘running after’ is also a running-away, an escape. In this pursuit, however, and not before, man feels that he is fettered, and his longing to be free, in order to become united with the object of his spiritual desire, become stronger. Feeling his impotency to break those chains with which he is fettered – whence he knows not – he tries to obtain help from outside. But in relying upon outside help he goes further and further away from the ‘kingdom’ within, and he merely makes new bonds which tie him down even stronger than before.

It is only the man who searches within that feels the weight of his fetters. There are millions who perceive no bond whatever and feel themselves free in the gratification of their sense-desire. Still, their very search for ever greater satisfactions of the sense proves the emptiness of their lives, which are bound by the gross chains of the flesh.

True freedom, real emancipation, cannot be had by running away with the fetters, with which we are shackled nor by amusing ourselves within the prison walls, nor by clinging to them, but by breaking those fetters and prison walls, which have been forged by tradition, convention, society and religion. To break these fetters we must know them, realize that they are fetters and not supports. When this is understood, it produces pure action (kriya), i.e. not action (kamma) which produces reaction (vipaka), as such action itself is a reaction to an environment which we have not understood. And this pure action without purposeful striving will break the spell of delusion, the fetters which keep us bound.

Delusion is intensified by the abuse of language. Sarcastically it has been said, that words are used to hide our thoughts. If we mean one thing, but we say something else, it can only lead to greater confusion. In the following pages words like ‘mind’ and ‘cause’ have not been use, except in connection with the views of others, because there is nothing corresponding to these sounds. “Mind” is the act of thinking, which may be more or less perfect in awareness, but remains action nevertheless. Mind in the sense of something which can think, is non-existent. Similarly “cause” in the ultimate sense does not exist outside the faith of the pious believer in God. Hence preference is given to expression like “condition”. It would have been good, if words like “I” and “Self” could have been omitted, for they too represent a non-existing entity; but their avoidance would cripple the language so much that speaking and writing would become impossible.

According to Buddhism there are ten fetters that bind beings to the samsaric existence. The texts enumerate them as follows: sakkaya ditthi, vicikiccha, silabbata paramasa, kamaraga, vyapada, ruparaga, aruparaga, mana, uddhacca, avijja. The first five of these are called the ‘lower fetters’ as they bind beings to the sensuous world. The latter five, ‘higher fetters’ because they bind beings to fine material and immaterial worlds. These fetters are gradually got rid of with the attainment of four spiritual stages.

From Buddhism: Sakkaya-ditthi (Fetter 01) Concept Of An Ego-entity

2010-05-31T14:01:00.000-07:00

The most formidable fetter is not the “I” consciousness or the consciousness of self, but the delusion of self. The consciousness of self would be the awareness of the real nature of ourselves. This is extremely rare, as we are mostly aware only of certain reactions which the environment has caused. Frequently we are not even aware that we react at all, and our actions amount to little more than mechanical responses to certain stimuli. This, of course, can never lead to the understanding of reality for so long as the current thoughts cannot detach themselves and are merely products of the environment, one cannot have detached view, one but form a part of the mechanical process of the universe, which one sees from inside, moving with and moved by the current of events without individuality, without the consciousness of self. It is the absence of such consciousness which produce this fetter of misconception of individuality.

The mechanistic world-view does not consider the mind as something separate from matter, and in this the Materialists are quite right. But are they not going too far, when they try to reduce mental reaction to the simple level of chemical reactions? Certainly, matter and material objects form conditions on which depends the arising of thoughts. Again, the grey matter of the brain together with the nervous system form the necessary instruments by which man thinks. And yet, all these materials brought together artificially, i.e., outside a living organism, do not produce thought.

It is with the recognition of these facts that the theory of annihilationism is rejected. But many, while freeing themselves from the rigid bonds which reduce man to a machine, have run away too far, have gone to the very opposite, which is the fetter of misconception of individuality as a separate I-entity. It is this glorified “self” which becomes a spiritual soul endowed with everlasting life. It is the delusion of self.

And how does consciousness become “self” – delusion? Thoughts arise dependent on contract with sense objects. The impressions of the environment on the senses produce reactions in the individual. Repeated reactions are differentiated and classified in different groups according to some common characteristics, in which process many particulars are overlooked, so that finally a sensation is judged as acceptable or not, i.e., agreeable or disagreeable. Subsequent events are similarly judged, compared, registered, by which process the faculty of memory is born.

Memory is thus a retention of past experiences. But those past experiences have been retained only partly to make classification possible. In other words, what the memory has learned from experience is extremely imperfect and entirely based on reaction to a changing environment which was not understood, which was accepted because it was agreeable, or rejected because it was disagreeable. The registration of these reactions, based on half understood untruths, forms the standard by which new experiences are judged and classified. Thus it happens that no event is judged purely on its own merits, for it is always measured according to the old standard. Every new thought is thus guided by past thoughts, conveyed in direction particular to that individual, shaped and moulded until finally, tendencies are fixed and one’s character stereotyped.

In this process of fixation of character is born a sense of separation which causes all inner limitations and isolations, which form so many bonds and fetters, preventing growth and movement. Where consciousness of self would see a process of action, ever becoming and always new, there the delusion of self, sees a separation, permanent individualism, creating a “self” or a “soul” which is not only the recipient but also the custodian of all past experiences. The retention of part experiences prevents the full understanding of present and new experiences, while even the old ones have lost their value because they are dead and pass and were never fully understood. And yet the understanding or rather the realization of truth is only possible, if the individual process is understood. But as long as the reaction to the past prevents the full comprehension of the present, there cannot be true intelligence, though there may be knowledge.

Naturally, from this unnatural way of living in a dead past, from the lack of understanding the present environment, arises disharmony which is a conflict which only strengthens the opposition based on the delusion of self because this very conflict is classed as undesirable, i.e. not in harmony with the tendencies of “self”. Thus the delusion of self as a separate, isolated, permanent entity, which looks at the environment with the hostile eyes wherewith a house-owner would view a nightly intruder, become stronger with each new experience, always withdrawing deeper and deeper into the self-protective shell of its dead past.

When the delusion of self sees isolation and permanence in individuality, there the consciousness of self sees an ever new becoming process of action. Where delusion of self lives on the past, consciousness of self lives on the present, - and is the present. True and full intelligence shows itself in the perfect action of the present moment, which solves the actual conflict – not by forcing it into the mould of past experiences, thereby killing the present, nor by projecting it through purposeful striving into a future not yet born – but by the understanding of “self” as a process of reaction to environment. It is the binding of one’s individuality to the dictates of the environment, expressed as laws of society and convection, religious prohibitions and selfish fears, traditions, habits, and customs – it is the binding to the environment, which constitutes the fetter of the delusion of self, a fetter which can be broken only through the understanding of that environment of which the individual is a mere product. The understanding of “self” as a reaction makes it one with the ever changing environment, dissolves the delusion of the separateness, dispels the misconception of opposites and thereby ends the conflict.

To seek a method of breaking this spell of self-delusion would amount to the forging of a new fetter. The only thing to do is to live completely in the present, to change over from reaction to action, so that every moment a new creation, not brought about by reaction like attraction or repulsion, but an independent action which alone is capable of giving true freedom and deliverance.

Life In Metaphor

2010-05-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

Life is often expressed metaphorically as a journey from the womb to the tomb. There are the crossroads along the way and at every junction one made decision that pave the destiny of this lifetime. Nevertheless the end is the tomb. The tomb however is not the ultimate end for there is yet another beyond. Because of karmic bondage, one is enslaved to the cycle of rebirth and death for countless times. The Buddha taught the way to free ourselves from this bondage and enter into Nibanna.

Let me relate my life in a metaphor. Life is like taking a long trip home on bumpy road by bus, and home is about a hundred kilometer away. Consider a year to be taken as one kilometer before we continue the journey.

Our bus stopped at the fourth kilometer bus stand where my father got out. My mother and I carried on the journey without him. Finally the bus came to its station at the crossroad. We had to board another bus to continue our journey. Everybody at the station was going home. We did not have the fare as my father left us without any money. Soon my mother befriended a man who gave us the fare. He came on the same bus with us. After a few stops, his mother came aboard. She was unfriendly.

When the bus stopped at the fourteenth kilometer bus stand, I got out and then it went on its way without me. I walked until I came to a bus station at another crossroad. Somebody was kind enough to pay for my fare. I continued my journey. After a few stops Mabel came aboard. It was a brief encounter. She got out at the next bus stand.

There are too many pages to write about the journey. In short at every crossroad I board another bus often sharing time with some who I cared for until one day I found myself traveling alone at dawn and with insufficient fare to move on.

I can never reach home in this lifetime because my home is Nibanna.

Other Dimensions

2010-05-30T08:08:00.000-07:00

To me Buddhism is more a philosophy and science rather than a religion. The Buddha taught us how to live our life with mindfulness and how to control our mental state to avoid suffering. Nevertheless he could not save us from the fruition of our karma. He taught about the phenomena of all existences – arising, being and ceasing.

We understand what the first, second and three dimensions are. I believe it was about the concept of dimension within the plane of existence that the Buddha said that his teaching was beyond the understanding of mankind.

Today scientists talk about the fourth dimension (time space). From my study of Buddhism, there are other dimensions such as energy space, formless space and nothingness space (Nibanna).

The first, second and third dimensions are planes of existence with physical form. Time space, energy space, formless space and nothingness space dimensions are planes of existence without form (without any of the five basic elements).

We live in the three dimensional world trapped in the fourth dimension of time space.

There are energy fields around us such as electro magnetic wave, solar energy, etc from the energy space dimension.

Hell, heavens, demonic world, ghost world, buddha lands etc are the formless space dimensions.

All existence has its own time space dimension and has a lifespan for nothing is eternal.

The nothingness dimension is the ultimate Nibanna – the goal of Buddhism.

Existence

2010-05-30T08:05:00.000-07:00

For the past four years I had been studying the teaching of the Buddha. It is not easy to fully understand the doctrine. Even the Buddha upon his attainment of supreme enlightenment was reluctant to teach as it was beyond the understanding of mankind. That was two thousand five hundred years ago. Few Buddhist today study his teaching in depth and are merely followers performing ritual ceremonies and reciting prayers.

In time I will post his teaching taken from some Pali language translation. One needs to know the fundamental laws of the Universe to understand Buddhism.

The Buddha never mentioned about God the Creator. He acknowledged there are ten thousand world systems in the Universe with life forms. Other world systems came in being long before our solar system exists.

The Universe is composed of five elements namely air, water, fire, earth and metal. Our physical form is basically our breath the air, the heat of our body the fire, our blood the water and our body the earth. The true consciousness is our mental state which is a non-physical energy form. We are mental state within a physical form not an entity with a self and in actuality an identity of our present lifetime.

All existences are either with form or formless and are impermanent subject to arising, being and ceasing. There are six realms of existence – human world, animal kingdom, ghost world, demonic world (asura), hell and heaven (devaloka or world of gods).

Is It Time!

2010-05-30T07:56:00.000-07:00

I was always interested in the mystery of life and the universe. I read books on astrology, numerology, feng shu, palmistry, i-ching and other religious subject. When I saw the slow death of the grandmother, I began to search for the answer of where we go after death. What was the point of living when one has to die! I never know the answer until now.

I was in my final year at school when my schoolmate told his parents about me. They invited me to stay with them. The parents liked to play mahjong and poker games. His father was a civil servant and most of the gamblers were neighbors from the nearby government quarters. There was gambling session everyday. I helped to clean up the place at the end of the day.

One day a stranger came to gamble and he took a look at my palms. He told me that I would have three families and five children. I did not believe him then. How could anyone foresee my future by looking at the palms!

A few years later I did an astrological chart of myself based on my time, date of birth and the location of my birthplace. It was astonishing and mystical. According to my chart I would be a recluse one day. I was afraid and stopped my research.

During my years of depression I met someone who was familiar with ‘the book of three lives’. She told me that having being sick I would be visited by seven persons before my timely death. Strangely I got sick recently and seven persons visited me. I seldom get sick not even a cold or cough. I am feeling better now. I am not sure if it is time but I have the sudden urge to write this blog as my legacy. My mind is so clear on what I need to write. I do not normally have this kind of concentration. Is it a premonition! I am not afraid of death. I do not want to be a burden to anybody. My final wish is to be cremated and my ashes to the blue ocean not the river. This will be Alex’s duty as my son.

Just before my daughters’ mother left for Australia at the beginning of the year, I told her that she may not see me again when she returned.

I still have a lot more to write. So let me finish what I have set out to do.

What If

2010-05-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

We create the condition of changes to our life. We made decisions based on our state of mind which is often clouded in greed, ignorance and stupidity. The perception of the mind is deceive by our senses in seeing, hearing, touching, tasting and emotional feeling. We are the cause of our suffering in life. We cannot blame others for our suffering. This is the teaching of the Buddha.

For the past years, I asked myself a lot of questions.

What if my father did not meet my mother! Definitely I will not be born and my five children will not come into existence. We are not an entity with a self but a true consciousness with a karmic baggage that actualize its phenomenal existence of birth and death. This is what we are. I may be born in one of the ten thousand world systems of the universe. We cannot escape the wheel of birth and deaths until our true consciousness no longer carry the karmic burden. Then we go into nothingness or Nibanna.

What if I was patient enough to win over Mabel and eventually marry her! My life could have been simple. She would be my only love. Decision changes condition that paves another direction of life.

What if I was not involved with the mother of my daughters! Then my second and third families would not come into being. Conditions are created from the mind through thoughts put into action. Action creates karmic effect – good or bad.

What if Esther did not smashed up my car in the accident! Ann could not have come into my life. Then I would still be with Florence and Alex. I did not create the condition. Condition also arises because the fruition of karma of past lives. I must have owe her in one of past lives, and we meet again in this lifetime. This is what I believe.

What if I had not moved my three daughters to Kuala Lumpur! I did not spend time with my daughters as they were growing up. So I moved them to Kuala Lumpur when I was financially sound. I started a business for them. It did not worked out and I lost very heavily. The business was a bad decision.

Life goes on even when we stop. We should adjust ourselves to the changing phases of life and live with whatever we have.

Not Forgetting

2010-05-30T07:49:00.000-07:00

In life there are happenings that one always remembers.

I watched the slow death of the grandmother and helped to carry her coffin. I delivered Irene when she was born. I had seen death and birth.

When I was young and staying with the grandmother, one day I dreamt of Kuan Yin the goddess of mercy (Avalokitasvara). When I was thirteen, I was nearly drowned in the mining pool. As I was sinking downward, I thought of Kuan Yin and then strangely I came to the surface.

Esther and I could have been killed in the car accident at Tanjong Malim. Before leaving for Penang, we dropped by a Taoist temple in Rawang and paid respect to the deity. I used to frequent this temple and knew the keeper. Someone once told me that I was always protected by deities. Seven cars were involved in that accident. We came out without a scratch. Some suffered minor injuries. However my car was badly damaged.

My 60s

2010-05-30T07:43:00.000-07:00

Today I am sixty five. One reaps what one sow. My past had finally caught up with me. Now I feel the effects of my past action. Life is about how to overcome and survive suffering. One has to move on and face the reality of life. There is no way to escape the consequence of one’s deed. This is the karma the Buddha referred to.

My daughters are married. On and off their mother stayed with Irene in Australia.

Alex is in Australia. Maybe he does not remember having a father. Florence has not forgiven me. That is acceptable to me.

Robin is still young and staying with Ann. I am not sure he really knows what is happening to my life. She is with another married man (George) for the past four years. The man is loaded. She need not have to work. He bought her a luxurious condominium and gave her a substantial amount. She must be very happy with what she have now.

Finally I am staying alone in the house that belongs to Jane. I am so used to loneliness that it becomes part of me. It takes a miracle for me to really live again. I have the will but not the means. Over the past years my health is deteriorating. In reality nobody cares anymore. There is nobody for me to talk to. So I decided to write this blog. Maybe someone will hear me. But why should anyone care! I am not the only one suffering. Others suffer too. In actuality I want to let go the burdens that I had been carrying all my life. I want to tell my story. I am not ashamed of the truth. It set me free. It is a relief to my state of mind.

In 1998 after Malacca, I mortgaged my condominium to the bank for a loan. I sold illegal software to oversea customers online. I managed to put just food on the table. I could no longer provide the comfort of the past. I did not asked Ann for money though she worked as a therapist in a spa. In 2000, I withdrew my employee providence fund and that was all the saving of my life.

In 2001 our relationship took a turn when she started going out with other men. I was under depression and could not concentrate on anything. That was the first time in my life that I have difficulties in solving my problem. I came close to committing suicide.

One day I went away with Robin to Port Dickson for a few days. I read a Buddhism book I took with me. I remember somewhere in the book, it was written: “To be happy, let go unhappiness”, “Life is delusional for nothing remains forever without change”, “One must accept the changes when they arise” and etc. I spent the days with very deep thoughts on what I had read. I came home and had a very serious talk with Ann.

I listened to her side of the story. She told she was young when she met me. There were a lot of things she did not realize then that she now realized. She no longer had the feeling for me anymore. I was too old for her. I did not force her to be with me then. We had been together for nineteen years and Robin was twelve. After all those years I could not understand how she justified herself. It was meaningless to be together since she had changed. I decided to end our marriage and set her free. That was in 2006. Four years had gone by. I lost the reason for living though I have forgiven her for whatever she had done to me.

She shattered my life. Perhaps I deserve it after all I also shattered the lives of Florence and the mother of my daughters when I left them. For whatever reasons I had then, it was still wrong. I felt very hurt and finally understood that what goes around comes around. I am too old to pick up the pieces and start over again in life. It is too late now. I have lost twenty years. That is the reality to live with.

Back in 1989 when I was working for Vincent, I should have dump her and gone back to Florence. We were not married at that time. I had no reason to be with her other than my commitment. The ending of my story will be different and I will have nothing to write on this blog. Probably this blog will never come into being.

Every action taken today paves the destiny of tomorrow. One needs to be careful in life.

My 50s

2010-05-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

In the 1990s’ I had my three families staying in Kuala Lumpur. Conditions changed and my families began to break up.

In 1992 I started a business managed by my three grown up daughters. A year later I closed the business after suffering substantial losses. My daughters went separate ways. Lillian worked as sales supervisor in a retail store. Irene went oversea, and Jane worked as a receptionist in a spa outlet.

That year I stopped working for Vincent because a conflict of interest. I was out of job for the next two years and Ann helped out by going back to work as part time GRO.

In 1995 I managed a shopping complex south of Kuala Lumpur. It was a failing complex that I was to revive. A year later I resigned as the situation was so bad that I could do nothing. Soon we moved to Malacca when I started up a new shopping mall. In 1997 I left because I was caught in between the differences of the complex’s owners who were Singaporean and Taiwanese. We moved back to Kuala Lumpur. That was my last job.

A later year Jane recommended Ann to work as a therapist in the spa outlet. That was the beginning of my break up with Ann in years later.

When I stopped working for Vincent, I had to stay away from Florence so that Esther would help her. I was not careful with my life and became a victim of circumstances. Today I realize I made a bad decision then. No doubt Florence stayed on her job in Vincent’s company and later sent Alex to Australia for further studies but I cannot forgive myself for losing them.

My 40s

2010-05-30T07:35:00.000-07:00

My forties were my prime of life with so many happenings. When I joined the syndicate, my whole life changed. My income was substantial. For a while I was happy and then my life became complicated. I cannot disclose much about my work with these people. The mode of the illegal operation was originated from Shanghai, China. In Cantonese it is known as “loy tip chin zee how”. I traveled extensively and felt lonely most of the time. There was insecurity and uncertainty whenever on the job. After four years I left the syndicate. I wanted to lead a normal life.

Probably it was the reason why I got involved with Ann. Some time I thought about leaving Ann, but I had committed too deep into our relationship. She had helped me financially when I was not on any job. After staying for six years together, I married her. I was forty eight and she was twenty seven. The following year Robin was born.

At one time Esther and I were getting too close. Although we were together alone at times, we did not do anything that was unwholesome. We were good. I liked her but was not about to do anything that would effect my marriage to Florence. I took the opportunity to keep my distance from her after the car accident. Years later Esther married Vincent. When I left the syndicate, I worked for Vincent.

In 1988 Florence moved back to Kuala Lumpur and later worked for Vincent. That was the first time she worked. I had to share my time between Florence and Ann. That was my problem.

In 1990 the family in Penang moved to Kuala Lumpur after I sold the apartment.

The Buddha once said “Life is uncertain but death is certain”. My life is full of uncertainties. I was unable to settle down.

My 30s

2010-05-30T07:32:00.000-07:00

I was thirty five, and Florence was twenty two when we got married. It was a simple dinner for the whole family. We were already in love for the past four years. She gave private tuition at home after her school days. She stopped giving tuition after we were married. She followed me whenever there were outstation projects. Alex was born in 1982.

The reason why I shifted my first family to Penang was because of my affair with her. In 1981 I gave up my ailing business in Penang and shifted down to Kuala Lumpur. I worked as a project site manager for the Sabahan company and traveled daily to Malacca.

Esther’s boyfriend (Eugene) and his friend took care of the contracts awarded to me by the company. Esther did not talked to us for some time when I sacked Eugene from my contract works. Years later they broke off. By that time, I was no longer in the electrical contracting business because of the economic downturn. While I was operating the gambling den, she had another boyfriend (Ken) who was supportive. He brought his friends to my place. Florence and I worked very hard to keep the gambling den going for about six months before I joined the syndicate. By that time Esther broke up with Ken. Later Esther worked for Vincent.

My 20s

2010-05-30T07:28:00.000-07:00

I had never befriended any girl before Mabel. Then I was twenty one. As a teenager I had none. The only girl I knew was my cousin sister Catherine. She was the daughter of my mother’s sister. We grew up together. She was one year younger than me. She got married young. We were lost touch after her marriage. The last time I met her was forty years ago.

So when I was with Mabel, it was my first experience with a girl. I never went beyond holding her hands and kissing her. She was someone I would always remember. We lost touch again.

My first encounter with the mother of my three daughters was quite unexpected. After Mabel I was never with anybody because of my miserable earning. My next move was to improve myself financially. I could not afford to have any commitment. It was a mistake to have a relationship without being responsible. Chastity does not matter in today’s society unlike those days.

My first job after school was a tool store keeper in an automobile workshop. I was there for a year. In my next job I was sent to Singapore for training as a accounting system salesman. I held on to the job for six months.

After that, my classmate’s uncle gave me a job in his company. During my schooldays I became his family’s friend. These were the people who helped me in my life. He was a Class A Electrical Contractor. I learned how to do tender estimation. I resigned in 1969. The pay was still miserable after working for four years and the company was making good money from the two projects which I worked on. From then, I went job hopping going for the better income whenever there was the opportunity. I had no loyalty for any employer. That is the world out there with the fittest survives.

I did not realize then that we are conditioned beings and at the same time we are also conditioning the lives of those connected to us.

Robin's Mother

2010-05-30T07:20:00.000-07:00

While I was working for the syndicate, Esther was Vincent’s secretary. Later she resigned and stayed with us in Johore Baru on and off. Most of the time, she stayed in Kuala Lumpur with her mother. I used to travel as far as to Thailand and when I was in Kuala Lumpur, I stayed at her place. Sometime I stayed in KL Hilton Hotel when she was not around. We often spent time at the Pan Pacific Hotel Health Club. Sometime when I traveled, she followed me. I like her and always treat her as my sister. One day she drove my car to Penang. On the way we got a nasty accident and the car was badly damaged. Luckily both of us were not hurt.

For a month I was in Kuala Lumpur doing nothing other than waiting for my car being repaired. That was in 1987. Then some members of the syndicate from Singapore came to Kuala Lumpur. As usual in the evening we would spend our time at nightclubs wherever we were. That evening we went to the Shangri-La Nightclub and that was where I met Robin’s mother (Ann). She was a GRO (Guest Relation Officer). I ordered two bottles of Cordon Bleu from her and gave a heavy tip. I invited the group including Ann and her friends for dim sum lunch at the Shangri-La Hotel. I was always a big spender with my new life style, with tinted hair and dressed in branded clothes and what’s not.

There was still half bottle of the brandy left at the nightclub. When the group returned to Singapore, I went back the next evening for it. The following evenings I found myself there. I love to drink especially Cordon Bleu. I was never a womanizer. Ann was always around and we just talked. That was all. I was lonely in my line of work. Though I earned easy money but I never know what would happen on my next job. It was a very trying career. I could not go back to my normal life which was too slow for me then. I was a changed person. Being a front man, I became fearless.

Soon my car was repaired. I went back home to Johore Bahru. Every morning I went over to Singapore to have breakfast with the group at Newton Circle and then proceed to our own club waiting around for the next job. Sometime for days there was nothing. In the evening we would go to some bar to have drinks. Usually I reached home late in the evening. Sometime I stayed at home with my Singapore pager on standby. I spent time with Florence and Alex who was only five going to market and do some cooking. We occasionally went over to Singapore for shopping at Orchard Road. That was how our life was before Ann.

I had to work on my own when there was no job from the team. So I traveled from Johore Bahru to Penang. Whenever I stopped over in Kuala Lumpur, I looked for Ann but not at her workplace. I took her to the Pan Pacific Health Club or have lunch or tea with her. We just talked.

For a while I did not get in touch with Esther. I stayed in hotels instead of her place. One day we went to the club and she found out about Ann going to the club with me. She got angry and left. I did not see her again. Two years later she had a daughter and was married to Vincent who already had two families. I was so surprised then.

It was a beginning of my friendship with Ann. She told me about her family background. She came from a small town to work in Kuala Lumpur. I felt comfortable with her and wanted to help her. So I enrolled her to a hair dressing course.

Months went by and I did not have any result from my work. The traveling expenses were more than my earning. I worked with different teams. I went to Sabah and stayed for a month in Kuching, Sarawak with another team. I also spent some time in Indonesia.

One day I told Ann about my work and my families. I was not having an affair with her then. I talked to her about renting a room in Kuala Lumpur. She was staying with her workmate. She shifted in and stayed with me. She had her own work and I had my own life. For the next six years we were staying together. She was twenty one and I was forty two then. That was how it started.

My Second Family

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We were staying in Jalan Pudu during the May 13 incident. Later we shifted to an old wooden house in Jalan Imbi about less than one kilometer away. We rented a room from the main tenant. Behind the house was the Bukit Bintang Amusement Park. In the early 1950s’ I stayed with my grandmother in the shop house next to this park. Today in place of the park is the popular shopping mall Sungei Wang Shopping Plaza.

A year later the landowner sold the house. Together with the main tenant, we shifted to a nearby apartment. In 1975 we shifted to Penang where I first started my own business. I traveled monthly between Kuala Lumpur and Penang as my customers were from Kuala Lumpur.

My second wife (Florence) is the eldest daughter of my main tenant who had two daughters. Even before I shift to Penang, I was closed to both daughters. I rented a room nearby for my stay whenever I was in Kuala Lumpur. I was in love with her when she was a teenager. I married her in 1980 when she was twenty two. In 1982 we had a son (Alex). Today he is a permanent resident in Australia after graduating from the University of Melbourne.

In 1980 a friend introduced me to an electrical contractor from East Malaysia. There was a tender from the Ministry of Defense. I did the tender estimation and the project was awarded to him. I was offered to be his project site manager and some subcontract works. So I closed down my ailing business in Penang and stayed in Kuala Lumpur after that. Occasionally I went back to Penang to check on my three daughters.

Having three daughters, I always wanted to have a son. One day on the way to the Genting Highland Holiday Resort, Florence (who was then pregnant) and I stopped at the midway Ching Swee Temple. I made a vow that if I had a son, I would name him after the Patriarch. Months later Alex Lim Ching Swee was born.

I left the Sabahan company after the project in Malacca was over. The contract works were handled by Eugene (Esther’s boyfriend) and a partner. Being in the electrical industry for the past twenty years I was able to get contract works and also supply support from the wholesale dealers. However by 1985 there was an economic down turn and I suffered heavy losses. I did not receive payment from a project and went broke. There was nothing for me to do.

For survival I had to operate a gambling den in the Jalan Imbi area. This area was notorious for vice and gangsters. The good, the bad and the ugly of the city lived there. I had known them so I got no problem from them. In fact they were my customers. Sometimes they brought strangers to my place. Florence and I worked hard to keep things going.

One day a group of the bad approached me and talked about their operation. They were an international syndicate. After much thought, I decided to join them. I had no choice. The income from the gambling den could not sustain my two families. I had always been a risk taker but this is high risk. This time I had to gamble with my life. This was another turning point of life. Soon it changed my life style and personality due to conditions.

For a start I went to Singapore and did my part. I came back with a substantial amount and we shifted to Johore Baru. Occasionally my sister in law Esther stayed with us. I rented a semi detached bungalow and bought a sport car. Later I bought a apartment in Kuala Lumpur. That was my new life style.

I was a good front man and built up my reputation. However I did not get much job as I had the disadvantages with languages. I cannot speak Malay or any other Chinese dialect except Cantonese. I am good at English.

Four years later I left the syndicate. Florence and Alex were back in Kuala Lumpur. By that time Esther got married to a corporate figure (Vincent) who is today listed in Forbes Billionaire List as one of the richest men in Malaysia. In 1989 I worked in his group as a complex manager in one of the shopping malls. Florence joined one of his private companies as a manager and I helped her to set up its operation. It was an advertising company.

It seems that I was always having problems with my life. Those past years were good with no financial constraint though I lived dangerously. I had a personal problem that ended up losing my second family even though I loved Florence very much. I still love her but she cannot forgive me and I cannot turn the clock back. In 1992 I stopped working for Vincent. By 1994 we were separated and years later we were divorced. Alex stayed with her.

After May

2010-05-30T07:09:00.000-07:00

My dream girl (Mabel) is also known as May in Chinese. Two years after my dream disappeared, my stepsisters (Doris and Nancy) introduced their colleague to me. They were sale persons selling textiles. I got involved with her. We had an intimate relationship after a few months. Later she left her work and went back to her hometown in Penang for the Chinese Lunar New Year festival.

That was 1969, the general election year in which the Alliance Party lost control of the Federal government. It was May 13. There were clashes between the Chinese and the Malay in Kuala Lumpur whereby hundreds were either dead or seriously wounded, mostly the Chinese. The Chinese city folks with the help of their secret societies fought back the advancing rural Malay. Rumor was that the army regulars minus their uniform were backing the Malay. All these fighting occurred north of the city bordering the urban Malay areas. I lived in the central. At night I saw the burning of houses in the distance, and there was curfew. I saw Malay soldiers patrolling the streets in the day. Most people ran out of food after a week. Three weeks later there were clashes between the Indian and the Malay further north of the city. After two months of curfew, the situation was calm but then things had changed in the country. A line had been drawn between the races.

1969 was also the turning point of my life. A year earlier I went to Penang to check out a project and met her family. I worked as a tender estimator in an established local electrical contracting company. In March, she and her parents came to look for me. They talked about marrying her daughter. I rented a room and we lived together without any marriage ceremony. I did not have that kind of money and was not prepared for it as I had resigned after Chinese New Year. I was looking a job. A month later the May 13 incident happened. We had to live with whatever I had. For the next two months it was porridge and biscuits to keep going.

The political situation was back to normal, and I got a job as a sale clerk in an Australian switchboard manufacturing factory in Petaling Jaya. Soon we shifted to another place in Jalan Imbi. My eldest daughter Lilian was born in 1970. A year later we shifted again to a nearby three storey apartment as the landowner had sold the land to develop a shopping mall. I was still renting a room. I had changed job by then. I was a salesman selling industrial control switches for a Singaporean company dealing with mechanical and combustion equipments. My second daughter Irene who is now an Australian citizen was born in 1972. A year later, I changed job. I was sales supervisor in a European firm selling switchgears and electric motors. Two years later I left to be on my own.

By that time we moved house twice. Our relationship came to a turning point. It was not her fault but mine. Over the years I realized what I had was not what I wanted. I had lived with it but for how long it can last. It was responsibility rather than love. We never develop a mutual understanding between us. We had not given each other enough time to consider being together. Finally I decided to let it be. Our initial relationship was merely a physical need. Her parents indirectly pushed us into the situation.

I started my own business and the family moved to Penang. I started a small machining workshop jointly with her family. We produced brass items for the electrical installation industry. Our venture did not last long, and I operated on my own. My youngest daughter Jane was born in 1976. I traveled between Penang and Kuala Lumpur for the business. Business was never easy due to cash flow problem.

Eventually in 1981 I gave up the business and went into electrical contracting business. By then I had another family in Kuala Lumpur. My business was able to sustain two families with comfort. I was too busy with my work and seldom went back to Penang but the three daughters were always in my mind.

In 1985 there was economic downturn in this country. Ever since the introduction of New Economic Policy in the early 1970’s the construction industry was re-structure in favor of the ethnic Malay. I lost everything and went broke. My other family in Kuala Lumpur helped me out.

By 1991 my income was substantial and I moved my family in Penang to Kuala Lumpur.

The Family

2010-05-30T07:02:00.000-07:00

Soon after we shifted to the government quarter, the family began to grow. The mother of my stepfather who was her only son stayed with us. She did not like me and my mother. She was the reason why I left home at the age of fourteen. When I left, there were only three sons and three daughters.

Today I have four stepbrothers (Jeff, Phillips, Boy and Jimmy) and five stepsisters (Doris, Nancy, Jennifer, Stephanie and Margaret. I lost count of how many children they have. Some of their children got married in recent years. When both our parents were alive, we met occasionally. My mother passed away in 1986 and my stepfather went in 2006 at the age of eighty five.

My stepfather did not earn enough to support the family. My education was effected. It was just food on the table. Sometimes he had to borrow money from the Indian money lenders. The quarter had a large compound, and his mother planted vegetables and reared chickens. Occasionally there were people who came to buy vegetables and chickens. I helped out watering the plants and doing household work including cooking. That was the life.

The only time I spent with my stepfather was in the 1950s’. During my school holidays I cycled to his workplace carrying his lunch. While he had his lunch, I looked into the office bins for used postal stamps. Stamp collecting was a common hobby in those days. I used to sell foreign stamps to my classmates, and that was my pocket money.

My mother and my stepfather were the same age. Both are Buddhist while all the children except Boy are Christians. Years after my mother passed away, he complained to me whenever I visited him that he was very lonely. I could not understand him then. He bought a house and retired from the civil service at the age of fifty five with monthly pension. The married children stayed nearby and visited him very often. Besides Philips (the unmarried one) stayed with him.

Being a Buddhist my mother was cremated and her ashes kept in a Chinese temple. My stepfather got very sick in his late 70’s. All the years after my mother was gone, the children tried to convert him into a Christian. He was very stubborn but when he was bedridden in his 80’s, he was forced to be a Christian just before his death.

One month after his burial I visited the temple where my mother’s urn was kept. The keeper of the temple related to me this story.

Twenty years ago the husband of the deceased would visit the temple on every full moon and half moon days of the month. He came alone by bus with some fruits as offering. He sat in front of the urn and cried all the time. He never failed to turn up until seven years ago.

I told the keeper that the old man was my stepfather. He was bedridden for seven years and passed away recently.

I was a shopping mall manager in the early 1990s’ and my stepfather used to come around every month. I understand now that he came to me after visiting the temple. The children are Christian and would not step into Buddhist temples. That was why he traveled by bus that took him two hours to reach from his home to the temple.

Before converting my stepfather, I spoke to Nancy (the second younger stepsister) but since he was their own father, I kept my silence. As my last respect I kissed his forehead as he crossed over. Maybe they would not know how to handle a dead Buddhist father.

There was an empty space next to my mother’s urn. I guess he would prefer to be there rather the heaven that was promised. Both shared a good lifetime together. In the dawn of life I lost some who I care for.

My Childhood Days

2010-05-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

During the Second World War my stepfather served in the British Army and was awarded with two medals which he gave to me. After the war he worked in the civil service of the British government as Malaya then was a British colony. Our family shifted out from the grandmother and stayed in some squatters. Later we shifted to the upper floor of a shop. A few years later we shifted to the government quarter.

Kuala Lumpur in the 1950’s was a small town consisted of rows of double storey shop houses with hundreds of squatters, mostly occupied by the Chinese community. In the mid 1950’s there was a big fire and hundreds of squatters were burning for days. The Malays stayed in their villages and the Indians in their own. The Chinese were either in business or worked for the government, The Indians mostly worked in the rubber estates or for the government, The Malay are either farmers or fishermen. That was the social structure of the people before our 1957 Independence. Life was simple and peaceful.

The tallest building was the seven storey Federal House which belonged to the government. Until today it is still there after many renovations over the past five decades. People from out of town would always visit this building whenever in town. Crimes were few because the town folks were under the protection of the Triad (Chinese secret societies). Only the very few rich Chinese had cars. Buses were few too. Mostly people cycled to their work or walked.

I used to cycle to school managed by the church. My classmates are mostly Chinese with a few Indians and Malay.

My school days were tough. I hated going to school because there were things that I did not have. There was no money for new books or uniform and no pocket money for break time. When some books were not available from the second bookstore, I went to school without those books. I had to share my classmates’ books and got punishment from my teachers for not having books. The teachers never knew my problem. Some classmate did not like sharing books. For that, I skipped some classes and spent my time in the library. Only the exercise books were new, and yet I did not enough exercise books for every subject. Most of the time, I did not hand over my homework. My school uniforms were full of stitches with patches as well. After school, I collected bottles from the rubbish bins in my neighborhood. The money from the sale was the only pocket money for school break time.

I spent most of time reading books borrowed from the school library as well as from the British Council Public Library and the United States Information Service Library. Finally, I passed the Cambridge Certificate “O” Level examination, my only paper qualification.

My Mother

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My mother was born in the early 1920’s. At the age of sixty five, she passed away. In those days it was common that children were sold because of poverty. A couple bought her and two other children. My mother was the eldest and she never received any education, while the other two children were English educated.

When I was seventeen, an old friend of the grandmother related to me the story of my mother. That year the grandmother passed away. My cousin sister Catherine and I were with her for seven days before she finally crossed over. I noticed the suffering over her slow death. She was a Catholic.

Most Chinese of that generation are members of secret societies originated from China. They fought over the control of territories and collected protection fees from the community. My mother’s foster parents were members of such triads. I remember seeing a five red dots tattoo on the grandmother’s hand. Tattoos are signatures for members.

The grandparents were in the entertainment circle. In those days, the night life was mostly cabarets with dance hostess in cheongsam. That was where my father met my mother.

Soon after the demise of my father, my mother married another man. He became my step father. I was six and we stayed with the grandmother for some time. The grandfather was no longer around then.

My Root

2010-05-25T07:23:00.000-07:00

My father passed away when I was four. He was forty five and my mother was twenty four when I was born. That was before the end of the Second World War. I was ten when I asked my mother about my father. He was a married man with one daughter and three sons. My mother was his mistress while he also had another mistress.

It was war time; and life was very much complicated. Malaya then a British colony came under the Japanese occupation. After the war, the two sons were executed by the Communist guerrilla for working with the enemy. They both died young.

When I was in my teens, I visited the daughter (Lucy), the son (Simon) and my father's wife. My sister Lucy (almost the same age as my mother) and her husband with two sons (Patrick and Columbus) and daughter (Helen) migrated to Australia soon after the May 13 racial incident in Malaysia. The last time I met my sister was in 1992. She came back to visit her mother's grave. She told me they stayed in Melbourne and gave me her address which I misplaced. One son is a doctor and the other an engineer.

Her mother passed away before the family migrated. She worked as a prison warden, and I visited her a few times.

Occasionally I went to my brother Simon to pick up some pocket money. He worked as a stockbroker. Later he worked in Singapore as a liquor sale person. He died there at the age of forty five.

My father and the family were Catholic while I am a Buddhist.

First Day Of Every May

2010-05-25T07:17:00.000-07:00

The first day of every May is an unforgettable day for me. It reminds me of someone who I fall in love with when I was twenty-one. That was a very long time ago, and yet I think of her on every May Day. It is her birthday.

Way back in the 1960's life style was very much different. I met this girl (Mabel) at a party. To me, she was a dream of my life but that dream did not last long. We broke up after five months when someone came into her life. I was earning a miserable income while the other person was very much better of. So I had to let go. That was my first lesson of how difficult it is in letting go and moving on. She changes my life.

One day twenty three years later, I met her while she was working as a sale person. I was pleased to see her again. I sent her twenty three red roses and invited her for lunch. Over lunch, we talked. She married the other person (Tony) and had a daughter. Before marriage, they broke off, but after some time they were back together. She told me she was only sixteen when we first met. I never knew until then. I told her I have three families.

That was the only lunch we had. Occasionally, I passed by her counter to say hello. Later she operated a beauty saloon. My third wife and I were her customers for a while. We lost touch after she shifted her business. That was twenty years ago.

Four years ago we ran into each other at a light rail train station. I was with my younger son, and she was her husband (Tony). We just greeted each other and exchanged a few words. She was surprised when I told her Robin who was twelve was my son not grandson.

Last October we ran into each other again at a bazaar where I was a vendor selling vintage clothing. She related to me her story.

She just got back from USA where her only daughter married an American a few years ago. Tony passed away in May from cancer. She had a stroke two years ago. Her daughter is seeking for divorce and looking forward to return home (Malaysia). How sad to hear all these!

She is a Catholic. All I can comfort her is by telling of letting go and moving on in life. She is sixty today...the dawn of life. For a minute she held my hand. I felt the touch of our friendship from deep within.

I gave her my mobile phone number and forgot to ask her number. I have been waiting in vain for her call. Maybe she lost my number. We lost touch again.

It Is Great To Be Young

2010-05-25T07:13:00.000-07:00

I am inspired to write while listening to some old songs and looking back. I realize my life is a confusion of what I wanted and what I had. I tried to understand why I am here. For all I know...it is great to be young...and that was for a while.

Then the years gone unnoticed and life began slowly withering away with aging taken control. Suddenly I am not young anymore. If only there is no aging, then it is great to be alive. What more can one desire other than the feeling of being great! Now I miss that feeling altogether.

My Story

2010-05-24T13:11:00.000-07:00

Everyone have a story of their life. Most of us do not want to talk about it. I live an interesting life. The story of my life begins when I was sixteen. I was alone on my own. It is a struggle to keep afloat. It is never easy to live this life. I am grateful to the people who have helped me. In return, I always help others whenever I can.

I make bad decisions at times and lived through three failed marriages. I have three daughters (Lillian, Irene and Jane) from my first marriage, a son each (Alex and Robin) from my second and third marriage. The daughters are married. The second daughter is an Australian citizen with two children. The elder son is now a permanent resident in Australia. My youngest son is only sixteen years old. I have seven grandchildren. Yet I am living alone..

The Dawn Of Life

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Dawn is the finale of life...the letting go of the past...the lost of some who we cared for… the slow and painful aging process...the time when nothing is important anymore other than food and shelter...and a new horizon of uncertainty.

At my prime, I never realize until now.

In Looking Back

2010-05-24T12:51:00.000-07:00

My days are long and lonely. At times I look back into my past, just recalling some moments of my life. I have learned the letting go of the past, move on in life and let the past be the past. I have at last found the peace within. With my remaining days, I will write my thoughts to share with those who believe in what is here and hereafter.

We are trapped in the 4th dimension of time. We have lived countless lifetimes even before this world come into existence. We have lived in other world systems in the forms of other beings. We have also lived in the other realms of existence. We are not an entity with a self but rather true consciousness combined with delusion actualizes itself as the phenomenal existence of birth and death.