My 40s

My forties were my prime of life with so many happenings. When I joined the syndicate, my whole life changed. My income was substantial. For a while I was happy and then my life became complicated. I cannot disclose much about my work with these people. The mode of the illegal operation was originated from Shanghai, China. In Cantonese it is known as “loy tip chin zee how”. I traveled extensively and felt lonely most of the time. There was insecurity and uncertainty whenever on the job. After four years I left the syndicate. I wanted to lead a normal life.

Probably it was the reason why I got involved with Ann. Some time I thought about leaving Ann, but I had committed too deep into our relationship. She had helped me financially when I was not on any job. After staying for six years together, I married her. I was forty eight and she was twenty seven. The following year Robin was born.

At one time Esther and I were getting too close. Although we were together alone at times, we did not do anything that was unwholesome. We were good. I liked her but was not about to do anything that would effect my marriage to Florence. I took the opportunity to keep my distance from her after the car accident. Years later Esther married Vincent. When I left the syndicate, I worked for Vincent.

In 1988 Florence moved back to Kuala Lumpur and later worked for Vincent. That was the first time she worked. I had to share my time between Florence and Ann. That was my problem.

In 1990 the family in Penang moved to Kuala Lumpur after I sold the apartment.

The Buddha once said “Life is uncertain but death is certain”. My life is full of uncertainties. I was unable to settle down.