What If

We create the condition of changes to our life. We made decisions based on our state of mind which is often clouded in greed, ignorance and stupidity. The perception of the mind is deceive by our senses in seeing, hearing, touching, tasting and emotional feeling. We are the cause of our suffering in life. We cannot blame others for our suffering. This is the teaching of the Buddha.

For the past years, I asked myself a lot of questions.

What if my father did not meet my mother! Definitely I will not be born and my five children will not come into existence. We are not an entity with a self but a true consciousness with a karmic baggage that actualize its phenomenal existence of birth and death. This is what we are. I may be born in one of the ten thousand world systems of the universe. We cannot escape the wheel of birth and deaths until our true consciousness no longer carry the karmic burden. Then we go into nothingness or Nibanna.

What if I was patient enough to win over Mabel and eventually marry her! My life could have been simple. She would be my only love. Decision changes condition that paves another direction of life.

What if I was not involved with the mother of my daughters! Then my second and third families would not come into being. Conditions are created from the mind through thoughts put into action. Action creates karmic effect – good or bad.

What if Esther did not smashed up my car in the accident! Ann could not have come into my life. Then I would still be with Florence and Alex. I did not create the condition. Condition also arises because the fruition of karma of past lives. I must have owe her in one of past lives, and we meet again in this lifetime. This is what I believe.

What if I had not moved my three daughters to Kuala Lumpur! I did not spend time with my daughters as they were growing up. So I moved them to Kuala Lumpur when I was financially sound. I started a business for them. It did not worked out and I lost very heavily. The business was a bad decision.

Life goes on even when we stop. We should adjust ourselves to the changing phases of life and live with whatever we have.